Social worker says my Dad has to come home but there's no one to care for him. What to do?

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Dad needs a sitter at night, nursing home won't take him. My Dad has had a stroke, and suffers from sundowners in hospital and rehab settings. He is ready to be discharged to a sub acute rehab program at a nursing home, but they will not take him, saying policy has changed and they cannot take pAtients who need sitters at night, even if we provide one. Discharge planner says our only choice is to take him home to a house that is not ADA ready , with my mom who is 83 and frail. Mom doesn't want to do that and we don't feel it's a safe environment, even if we have in home care come in. Is it true that nursing home policies have changed? We are in Maryland

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Elh2164, how many rehab nursing homes have you checked? There should be places that will take a patient who has sundowners. Keep checking around. You might have to go outside of your immediate area to find a place. Hope you find a nice place.
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Does your dad need an overnight sitter because of the sundowners? Many people in nursing home experience sundowners. Is this nursing home not equipped to deal with sundowners?

It sounds like you either have to place your dad in a nursing home without a sitter or he goes home. If he goes home you can hire in-home help. And as far as the home not being "ready", what do you need to do to get it ready?

There isn't going to be a perfect solution. Most of the time we have to work with what we have. When I cared for my dad I found myself having to bend and conform to fit his needs as opposed to making his needs fit my life. It's very difficult and frustrating and scary when our parents become incapacitated.
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