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My Dad has been diagnosed with Vascular dementia. I do not see any of the various types that really fit his condition. He is bed ridden. He still feeds himself but it is a challenge. We feed him sometimes. He can brush his teeth, and sometimes can use the TV remote but struggles with that at times. We are unsure if he is properly diagnosed based on the loss of strengh and muscle weakness.

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tw2016, what you describe is typical late stage vascular dementia. He may hold at that plateau for a while. Eventually he will need a hoyer lift to be moved. He might also have one last "event" that leaves him non-responsive. Vascular dementia does not really have a definite timeline.
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He sounds a lot like my mom, especially "Sometimes he calls her to their bedroom and does not know what for", that is one of the things that drives me crazy, along with calling my name over and over and over.....! And with my mom the physical decline seemed to come before the mental decline, but maybe it was really as much her losing the mental ability to function than something physically wrong, because even today she is still incredibly strong for someone who spends 18 to 20 hours a day in bed, and I know that it is as much her belief that she can't walk and fear of falling that keeps her in her wheelchair rather that actual physical lack of ability.
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I'll do my best with timeframes and symptoms. It began when he was 73. He came home from church told my Mom he did not feel well and his gait was off. This continued he walked as if he were about to fall. He was taken to several doctors half the state of Florida. Confirmed mini strokes had occurred. I do believe he had a fall prior to all of this but as far as striking the head unknown.
He is now 79. I'm sorry I can not give time lines on walker to wheel chair to bedridden. When he was in wheelchair he came out of bed only for meals and was obsessed with going to bathroom even when he did not have to go. He calls for my mother constantly. He had a very good appetite. His appetite has subsided for the most part. He still eats pretty well. He is very difficult to understand speech. Names come out well. He remembers everyone. He dreams and believes they are real. He is confused at times but always asking about someone and where they are. If I am staying with my parents he asked where is my husband and what is he doing and when will he be there. If my Mom leaves him with me or anyone he constantly wants to know where is she and will she be back. He will ask the question because she is his life line, he will ask it over and over until she returns. Sometimes he calls her to their bedroom and does not know what for. He usually wants a snack or asked for something he cannot do ...like get out of bed. When he was able to get out of bed he immediately wanted to return to bed after finishing his meal. He used to watch TV all day, sports mostly. Now we find him on channels he would never had watched before. He also has lost interest in TV. He sleeps a lot more than ever. He went through a period of time of agitation and angry and hospice nurse asked my mother to give more of the medication for this to help with the sundowners. Which the sundowners was occurring more frequently and not just late afternoon. My mother asked them not to give him so much that he would be like a zombie which he is not but agitation has reduced so it was very helpful. He is on medication for thyroid, blood pressure, depression, and anxiety. He was a runner ran track meets etc I believe the last one was at age 70. He has a catheter and my mother changes him for bowel movements. I live 3.5 hours away we go monthly and stay 2-5 days at a time. My mother could provide a better timeline on the physical decline but she does not have the time. I will be passing your comments along. I read cases about dementia and until today they seemed to all be moving around. Yesterday my Mom told me it is getting harder for him to grab the bar above the bed to help position himself better. She is not sure if he cannot follow her instructions or if he is losing more strength in upper body yet as this is another new decline. He was asking for this children weekly but that has slowed down. I apologize I am all over the place so much happening short period of time. Oh one more thing the choking can go on and on and you think he will not stop at times. He moans sometimes when touched as if in pain when asked where he is hurting he often does not know. When he was in the wheel chair I convinced him to let me take him outside. We hit a bump and I asked him if he was okay. He said no it hurt. I said where and he said his mind. :(
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Hi tw . My mother has VaD and she has lost muscle strength very quickly too. In October she was using a walker, by Christmas she was spending most of her time in bed sleeping, and was using a wheel chair when she went for meals. The aide said that they were starting to need to feed her. She does not read or watch TV any more. It started a few years ago with paranoia with her losing things and thinking that people had taken those things and also not being able to handle her money - forgetting her PIN number etc. The paranoia got much worse till she was diagnosed and given an antipsychotic about a year ago. Since then she has deteriorated considerably but she is 103 so that is not surprising. She is still "herself" but does not use more than a few words in communication.

Can you tell us more about your father and how this has progressed? How long he has had problems. More specifically what his problems were and are - is it only muscle weakness? How long did it take from him from walking to a walker to being bedridden? Does he have any other problems. It would help.

I find that most cases on her are Alzheimer's and it is quite different to VaD in some ways.
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I still struggle with the fact I never have gotten a definitive diagnosis about what the heck happened to my mom.
Looking back I know she was eating less and losing weight, so that contributed to her weakness. I know that she had multiple TIAs that have probably led to VaD. I know she was being treated for a chronic heart condition, and stroke risk, that she had compression at multiple vertebrae. But one day she seemed fine, and the next she couldn't/wouldn't get out of bed and I've never been given an explanation beyond "sometimes they just get tired" :(
I have had to content myself with dealing with the day to day realities of our lives instead of seeking answers, after all she is in her 90s and we aren't looking for a cure, only ways to ease her final days. But it has been really hard letting go of that need for answers.
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By chance did your Dad have a fall that he never told you about? All it takes is one serious fall where an elder hits their head to fast-forward dementia.... that happened to my Mom and I have read on the forums here with other elders.
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