I live far away from the situation but my brother and his family are just minutes away from our father. Our Dad's behavior has been changing over the past 6 months or so to now include paranoia. A little history, Dad has never been ill, takes no medicine at all,and is capable of remembering the most minuscule details from his past. He lives alone, still drives, and seems quite capable of normal daily functions. He has always been a bit OCD with his possessions and his apartment but his appearance and personal hygiene have taken a huge dive over the years. Showers that were too far in between before have basically become nonexistent and he hand washes laundry once in a blue moon. He has been told to help himself to my brothers enormous machines. Dad makes excuses to avoid going anywhere. He has little social interaction with anyone except my brother and myself. I talk and text with him daily but lately even that is getting difficult.
Over the past several months he has become paranoid.He truly believes that the tenants upstairs are "out to get him" he thinks they can see him through the walls with "special equipment"? He says they are reading his texts and spying on him. My brother has been over there and checked thing out...there is nothing wrong. Dad listens for every sound that they make above him and he insists they are trying to aggravate him deliberately. He thinks there is drug activity there and they are trying to implicate him. He has even gone so far as to (repeatedly) call the police. My brother is getting calls and texts from my father at all times of the day and night....super long crazy texts about the neighbors actions. I get the texts too but they are so ridiculous it's hard to even respond. The situation has escalated to my father wanting to retain an attorney and demanded that my brother call in to work(dad said he was more important than my brothers job) and take him to the lawyer. My brother can't do this. He and his wife are caring for their grandchildren full time and both work fulltime jobs. Their hands are full! We have advised him to contact the senior housing people and see about getting into a new apartment. He refuses....he feels it's his right to stay there and will not be inconvenienced.
Dad has made many mistakes over the years. I am sure he is carrying a lot of guilt over some of the choices that he has made. He cheated on mom after her diagnosis of MS and then left her, he has never been a father to us kids. His needs always came first! He has shown excessive jealousy with a long string of women after mom and ended up with several failed relationships and another divorce. His poor social skills and self centered ways have left him alone in his nasty cigarette stinking apartment. He spends his days watching tv and reminiscing about the good old days. He doesn't drink anymore but I have noticed how quickly his mood changes and he can really become nasty and irate. He has never shown an interest in his three grandchildren and probably couldn't tell you their names or pick them out of a crowd. He hasn't spoken to our sister in over 8yrs. Petty jealousies with his sister ruined that relationship 15 years ago. His one best friend from childhood passed away a few years ago. That relationship was strained at the end due to dads selfishness and his buddy passed away before it was really ever mended. He is alone now. His bad choices and lack of interest in all of our lives have alienated him. Dad wasn't really involved in our lives all these years (all three of us are in our late 40s) and we all have gone on without him, by his choice. Now he is aging fast and the relationships aren't close. So what to do?
This new paranoid behavior has us worried. It is becoming obvious that he is losing his grip on reality. His social security check is tiny and he won't be able to live at that apartment much longer. I'm embarrassed to say this but none of us will extend our homes to him due to his poor social skills. So what do to with an aging reclusive self centered father that has never been there for anyone but himself? What could be causing this sudden paranoia? Getting him to a doctor would be impossible. He hasn't been to one in over 20 years. We are afraid he will do something rash to the neighbors upstairs and end up in trouble with the law. His temper is bad and he becomes very aggressive. What to do? Where to begin? We are new to the issues of the elderly. We lost Mom to MS over 10 years ago. We all had a great relationship with her and learned to help her with her issues as the path unfolded. Dad is like Pandora's box and we are all at a complete loss with what to do. Any help would be greatly appreciated.