Dad is asking me to give some of his funds away, contrary to his best interest?

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An heir (sibling ), who is ill, but has a net worth of about $500k, is asking for "advance on his inheritance", whuch accountant informs me is not a normal or legal request. Dad, 93, feels sorry, sentimental and "wants to help". I have committed to taking care of Dad when the time cones, and don't know what those costs will be.
Sibling was asked to start monetizing their assests, but seems to be in denial and and he & spouse say they will do so over a 4 yr time horizon. The illness is a serious one. The couple have lived beyond their means for years, but still managed to acquire a decent amt of assets, but carry debt.
Dad agreed earlier that any transfers would be for medical only, if required. Now he wants to gift, not just to sib, but others.
I've told him keg a lly this puts me in a different position. My concern is his impulsive behavior the last few years in financial matters. He gave me POA 2 yrs ago as he wanted help w/ biz matters, but he us still very cognizant of issues, but has some short terms memory issues.
Complicating factor, we both agree this sib is acting to satisfy his spouse but both seem to feel entitled to an inheritance, on assets that belong to Dad.

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Let me add this. My mother's former helper went with my step-dad to visit mom in the nursing home very often. One day she talked mom into loaning her $40,000 to buy a car. She had left a written contract for me in her room. She hoped that I would authorize the loan. ()*&$#@ NO! My step-brother and I let her know in no uncertain terms that was not going to get a loan from my mother whose dementia was rather bad by that point. I said all that to say this, your dad is confused, stop the cash flow as his POA for his protection! Sometimes you just have to take the authority of being the POA and let people know that you are the POA and for them to back off.
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Sendmetohelp, I agree w/ the spirit of your comments, as the accountant is adamant I can be held accountable for giving Dad's funds away, except for dire documented need, and that I should avoid this topic with him. Have alsoin writing told couple they cannot go to Him on this topic. Offered a medical fund, subject to lien, as a solution. We'll see what developes. Thx
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This is not my idea, and you have said there are some memory issues with Dad.
That said, can you tell Dad a white lie that you did as he suggested with the money-that you took care of it-he will feel comforted-forget-then when Dad talks to you again-ask him, 'what, are they asking for even more money?'

Sorry to even suggest this, but it may work for some people. I could not maintain the lie, so it wouldn't work for me. If dementia or alzheimers is the problem, then this might help your Dad feel more comfortable.

However, what you have described sounds more like a sibling problem coming from brother. If you cannot say NO, teach Dad to explain that all the money is in the accountant's control, you say the same to brother-add that he should stop asking and upsetting Dad. Try sounding offended that they should have even asked, and while you are sympathetic to their needs, this is just not possible.

Guessing that to protect Dad's assets, (you are in a tough position) you may have to act tough, and push back a little-willing to risk distancing the relationship from those asking for money.

When wolves are trying to knock the house down, are you going to open the door?
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No, panstegma, that is not what he's thinking at all, he's feeling sentimental about my brother's illness, may be even unwarranted guilt. Dad plans on not going to home as I b saud I would be there for him when he needs care, but I need his funds for that day.
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Mom thought she could give everything away and then go into a nursing home on Medicaid. If this is what Dad thinks, he needs a Conservator ASAP.
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Freflyer, thanks for your comments. There are mortgages but they're small relative to value of properties. Am dealing w/ unreasonable requests which is upsetting Dad and me. Legally they are wrong, but emotionally, trying to manipulate the situation. I blame SIL, but brother unable to stand his ground, has accepted her sense of entitlement and values. I've always overlooked a lot to keep good relations w/ brother, but this is too much to overlook. They are circumventing my POA by discussing this w/ Dad. Reading these pages, it seems this is what happens in so many families, and I didn't expect to face this.
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Then the only answer is "I cannot possibly do that".
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Sendme2help, this leaves me short of funds to care for Dad, while others, who have assets, add more assets, for their heirs. I must account for how Dad's funds are spent, and unless sib shows dire need, Dad's funds work to perpetuate a life style: 3 houses, 3 cars+recreational vehicles. There is debt but there's a lot more equity than debt. This is more a case of want than need, I'm sorry to say.
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In order to 'protect' some of Dad's assets, with you in control, has anyone ever thought outside of the box-whatever 'loan' or 'advance' on inheritance for one needy sibling must be also extended to the other siblings, equally.
Then, Dad is divested of all monies to give away or loan out-there's no more money to borrow! Except, no one knows you didn't spend your portion and have saved it for Dad's care?
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Tamar2, you mentioned "one of their properties", I assume the current market value of the houses are part of the $500k in assets. If yes, time for them to sell one of those homes to use to pay off medical expenses, that is if there is any equity. If the houses are investment properties with tenants, better to keep the tenant with a cash flow. If the house is a summer get-away, sell it.

Note that even if your Dad places a lien on one of the properties, the mortgage company is standing in front of the line to get what is owed to them, with Dad standing in second. If the houses are mortgaged to the hilt, then there won't be any money to pay off Dad's loan.
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