Dad with Alzheimer's was so sweet, but now has turned mean. He's hitting and telling us he is going to kill us. Is this normal change?

Follow
Share

In the beginning, he as able to walk, go to the bathroom, he was sweet. Now he is completely dependant on my Momma, my brother and me. He gets angry at us and tells us he is going to kill us with a gun (he doesn't own a gun). Does this mean the disease is taking more control over his brain? Is he nearing the end of his life? My family have decided to put him in a nursing home. We are all hurt, but realize we are not trained to care for him as he grows more and more agitated. He also barely eats. My momma feeds him, tries to get him to eat, but he will not. thank you for any help

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
4

Answers

Show:
Joyce, please be careful with FIL. Mom has traumatized me - and I was in my early 20's! I have done my best Not to think of That stage. I can still see her eyes. If she had ever caught us, she would beat us to death or seriously hurt us. When they are in their violent stage, they have super-human power. Father had to go do an errand. He left us 3 kids to watch mom. I was about 24 with my younger siblings. We locked ourselves with mom in the house. She wanted to go out and couldn't figure out how to undo the locks (set of 3 on all doors). So, she attacked us in anger. We fled behind the 3 seat sofa. She just flipped it like nothing with hatred/anger in her eyes. We screamed and fled into our bedroom and locked the door. Mom kept attacking the door. We kept screaming and held ourselves against the door as it shook under her angry pounding. It was awful.....Yes, I agree with you - do not put yourselves in danger. If you get hurt, how can you protect your daughter? Never ever under-estimate the anger/violence of someone who has dementia. Take care and be careful...
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Do not feel guilty at all. Keep your family safe. My dad was in mid-stage dementia when he died and at one point threated to burn the house down with mom in it (he wanted them to go together). He also threatened to kill himself several times and after an attempt, he was put in a psychiaratic facility. He said if he had an opportunity again, he would try another method.
We are going through something similiar with my FIL now. He has put a gun to his stomach and threatened to kill himself (gun was removed from the house) and he has violent mood swings. Will not put my little girl or ourselves in danger. No one should live in fear. (((hugs)))
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

My mom went thru this too. Father refused to give her the meds to calm her down. So we had to deal with the physical attacks - by running away all the time. However, when cornered, I will admit my siblings struck back until a way was opened for escape. Whatever you all decide...if you decide to caregive him at home, they try meds...it's a trial-and-error process to find the right one and dosage.

But no, it does not signal the end. It's a temporary stage they go thru. My mom was diagnosed 23 yrs ago. Her violence was within 5 years of her diagnosis. There is no "one size fits all" when it comes to dementia/Alzheimer. Mom happened to survive the longest compared to all her friends who had Alzh.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

This is very normal. My great grandfather went through this with Alzheimer's when we had him living with us and we are now having it again with my grandmother. We've put all knives and forks in locked drawers and have all the dishes, cups, bowls, and glassware in locked cabinets because she was trying to bash our heads in with them. I have to nap in a locked bedroom since tried to strangle me with my daughter's jump rope. No, this doesn't mean he is near the end of his life. Actually, the deeper he gets into the Alzheimer's this will pass but it is a nightmare while it goes on. It has to be your own decision but we opt to keep them and wait for it to pass. I wasn't at all trained at 18 when I took in my great-grandfather but learned to deal with it. I was in college then and it was pretty stressful. I am glad I did keep him. We will keep my grandmother too. It will get better.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Related
Questions