What do I do if my Dad (87) is all of the sudden a dirty old man? Otherwise mentally fit?

It could be the loss of "filters" due to brain changes. I understand your concern about him offending women who work for him. Can you have a word with them to see if he has acted inappropriately with them, or to give them a "heads up".

Do you have any idea why the woman he was engaged to broke it off so quickly?

Again, I think it would be worth mentioning it to his doctor and watching to see f any other aberrations show up. Yes, sex is good at any age, but inappropriate behaviour isn't. I guess I am saying that I am supportive of your concern.

Thanks for all the input/support. I'm just really am worried that a guy that has been dearly loved and respected by all in the past will leave a bad lasting impression...

I definitely agree with the loss of "filters"....seems some elderly people give themselves permission to speak their minds no matter what!

Have you tried talking to him about this? What does he have to say?

I'd mention it to his doctor. It's likely that his brain is undergoing some changes, and it's worth discussing w/the doctor. If your dad seems "all there" otherwise, can you say something to him? How would he handle being reprimanded in public if he were to behave that way? I guess I'm asking if he can learn again what's acceptable and what's not, and if he cares that he's being offensive. Sometimes people don't care, or it's a way to be aggressive/hostile and get away with it.

Since this is a real change in behaviour, I would be concerned about brain changes too. If he had done it al his life, that would be different.

ff - I can't agree it is the nature of all men to make comments that would embarrass their daughter. I worked for any years, and there were a only a few men in the workplace whose behaviour was offensive. In general, they were not. You, yourself state you were very uncomfortable with the older man who called you good looking and that is pretty mild. I believe that holysmokes is talking about things more offensive than that.

Anything that makes another person uncomfortable can be considered harassment - " any unwanted physical or verbal behaviour that offends or humiliates you."

holysmokes - are these young women indicating that your dad's behaviour is making them uncomfortable? You wrote about his comments, "But he says the things to the woman, not a chauvinist but asexual in nature. ..i can't imagine this was ever acceptable"

Did you mean sexual not asexual?

I think it is worth mentioning to his doctor.

I noticed as my dad aged, he'd say things out loud that were unacceptable. He'd comment on how overweight a waitress was or something similar. I'd give him the stink eye and tell him to stop it. He was hard-of-hearing, so maybe he thought he was speaking in a whisper tone, while he was speaking in a normal voice. It was very annoying and embarrassing at times.

If I called him on it later, he'd just shrug it off. Mentally he was all there (died at 92), but I think his brain might have done a bit of changing. I think the filters come off with some people as they age. But have you talked to you dad about his comments and what does he say if you have? If not, tell him how inappropriate his comments are.

Yes I meant sexual in nature..not asexual.

Don't underestimate his sexual ability. Let him go to a seniors place where he can meet widows his own age in case you don't. Know sex is still fun in your eighties

holysmokes, I believe it's just the nature of most men, doesn't matter if women are being whistled at walking past a construction site, or if a Corporate Manager is commenting on how nice that sweater or haircut looks on a co-worker.

Last month while attending a funeral service, one of my boss's buddies [guess he's in his late 70's] came up behind me, put his hands on my shoulder's and said "hey, good looking".... he was an economist, speaks half dozen languages, world traveler. I wanted to be invisible at that moment.

My boss [79] is a recent widower... oh my gosh, the older single/widow women are coming out of woodwork. If one is in the office visiting, I can overhear her *flirting*, too, and sometimes there are those play on words.