After the discussion my sister and I had I agreed to try and prepare my dad before moving him into a facility. I told him gently that my sister works full-time and after 5 years of caring for him and paying for help ( we share the cost) she can no longer do it due to him having a prostrate problem as well as early stage dementia. He refuses to understand it and says he has done nothing wrong and he is ok where he is. I had to tell him that if it wasn't that she had to clean up faeces after him, she might have coped better, but he says it wasn't him who made the mess and he says he cant remember and she is lying.
She cried while cleaning up the mess as the help was off-duty and she told me next time he does she will walk out and book herself into a hotel as she just wont do it.
Last night he said to her "so you want to throw me out" and I told her to say that the doctor said he needs nursing, which in fact the doctor did say.
This is very taxing and I wish some parents would be less selfish. He was one of the most selfish dad's I know, but I guess not the worst. Absent, paid his dues and visits. Should we feel bad?