My parents ages 90 and 88 are still in the 6 bedroom house where we all grew up (5 sisters). All of us, except 1, are married, responsible adults with families. One sister, who has always been a train wreck, has been living with them for years. Our home was always pristine- immaculate. Since sister moved in it is going downhill. When I went there to interview home health aides for Mom, the odor of dogs was overwhelming, my allergies kicked in too. I remarked that there was a bad smell (as I have remarked many times) . The next week my father called and lit me up "How DARE you come into MY home and say it stinks etc..." The real problem was that I criticized the fair haired daughter that can do no wrong. My Dad and I have not had a cross word since I was a teen, but this time around he said some things that devastated me and after 5 weeks he finally called again and said we should "forget it and move on"
He is 90...I get it....but I have been gutted by this whole thing and really don't want to go over there. I don't know that I can "forget it" yet I know he is not going to be here forever, so I have the guilt thing going too. I don't know what to do...Advice would be most welcome.