He is so close to the vest with information and suspicious of everyone I don't know what to do. She has got the innocent act down pretty good but why would a young woman want to live with an 88 year old?

He acts completely helpless around her but when she leaves he magically can do things for himself.

Is there anything I can do?

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This is fishy. Could it be considered elder abuse. If you have POA try to use it to look at his bank accounts. Like said, don't push. You don't want him changing his will in favor of her. She will not be able to live anywhere if he doesn't make a provision for her in writing.

Just a thought, when she is around he lets her do it all but when she leaves he can do it all himself? You think he is using her? Maybe he is telling her she can have things but verbal doesn't count. He has to put it in writing. Like said, if she is from an agency, report her. What she is doing is unprofessional.

My MIL lived in Fla, 2 day trip for us. We think she started to decline a year before she passed. She had asked us what we wanted and was suppose to add a codisil to her will, never happened. After she passed the other 2 sons were at her home entertaining neighbors. One couple had asked if they could purchase some things. My BILs left the house to a professional who got it ready for a estate sale. She had a list of what was already sold. While she was working in the house the couple who bought pcs. came over and said there were pcs that Mil told them they coukd have same with the other neighbor. Both neighbors had never said anything about this to BILs. The woman told them nothing was said by BILs, so she couldn't allow them to have them. So see, it has to be in writing.
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Reply to JoAnn29

You ask why a "young" woman (not so young at 61) want to live with an 88 year old.

Assets. A lake house. Anything else your father might have squirreled away.

Like Ahminjoy said, unless your dad has been declared incompetent he can make any financial decision he likes, even if it's a bad one.

You could consult with an attorney. An elder care attorney or an estate planner. Maybe there's something you can do to safeguard his assets. However, your dad would most likely have to sign off on anything so you may not get anywhere with an attorney.

You can try appealing to his emotions. Tell him the lake house should stay in the family. But don't push too hard or you'll be pushing yourself right out the door.
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Reply to Eyerishlass

Unless your father has been declared legally incompetent there isn’t much you can do. And, unless you have POA, he can give her access to his financial resources and there still isn’t anything you can do. This woman is hardly a child. Perhaps she does have feelings for your father. However, if she works for an agency, I would make them aware of this relationship. It is not a professional one and the agency should know. If you show dislike for this woman to your father, you will be the one who gets booted. You know he’s not thinking with his brain. You know what part of his anatomy he’s thinking with.
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Reply to Ahmijoy

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