My Dad is 81 with Cataracts in both eyes and he was scheduled for Cataract Surgery on the left eye first then the right eye at a later date. My sister was supposed to take him yesterday to have cataract surgery on the left eye and call her the night before and use the drops before the procedure. He did not call her and she was worried when he did not answer his phone after numerous times calling him and getting no answer. He finally called her back the next day which was about 5 minutes before his appt and said he was ok and he would explain later what happened. My sister thinks he was afraid to go for the surgery at the last minute but didn't want to tell her that. My sister would have had to drive 5 hours to his home and get him and drive him to the surgery center. His license is expiring in Dec and we think he is still driving with the cataracts? What can we do? My sister has tried to get him moved closer to her but he always has some excuse why he cant move and he is living alone and if we try to call APS about him possibly driving, he would yell and cuss us out!! My sister is afraid to call APS, I am in another state and can't do much about this and he is living in a home that is unsafe,(Hoarding situation) Please help!

I don't have one friend who didn't drive right up to their surgery. The cateracts would have to get really bad not to be able to see. I think surgery is done way before that. I find that night driving is bad so I do very little of it.

I would not be surprised if Dad is charged. He needs to understand that the surgery is done by an Ophthalmologist, an MD. He has set aside this time for a surgery with room prepped and probably an assistant?

The whole procedure should have been explained to him. As FF said, the drops are probably the worst thing. I have not gone thru cateract surgery yet, but they are forming. Not one of one of my friends complained about the procedure itself. Actually, both my Mom and MIL thought the eye was scraped and I know the procedure had been fully described to them.
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Reply to JoAnn29

kat1944, when I recently had cataract surgery I found the hardest part were those darn eye drops.... half the time they were running down my face instead of going into my eye. Bad aim I guess.

Cataracts come in different degrees. Your Dad may still be able to see to drive. I know I could the day before my surgery.

With the doctors in my area, if you don't show up for a surgery, even a minor one, you could be billed for the doctor's time and the time for those involved with the surgery. Your Dad need to check on that.

With the pandemic back in the upswing, your Dad will need to get in as soon as possible before all elective surgeries are postpone.
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Reply to freqflyer

Kat, I can truly relate.   I procrastinated as well; even though both my parents had cataract surgery w/o any problems, and our ophthalmologist is top notch and well noted in his field, I was so uncomfortable with anything being done to my eyes.   Eventually, I had to bite the bullet, and was sooooo surprised that it was literally a piece of cake.

If your father is concerned about discomfort, he'll have anesthetic and barely feel anything.   There's also an interesting side effect; with my first surgery, I saw beautiful light patterns, like solar systems.  Even though I was partly "out of it", I wanted to preserve those patterns for quilts!    

The discomfort though was primarily the eye drops, since they sting, and they're required for 20 days if I remember correctly.   So I found something to do to treat myself for enduring that discomfort.

The amazing ability to see well again made me wish I had gotten the surgery long ago.  

Can you think of something to motivate him?   A dinner out?   I think your sister might want to keep him at her house the night before so she can be sure he's going to get the surgery.

If he can't renew his license b/c of the surgery, it will be far more complicated, if your state is anything like mine.
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Reply to GardenArtist

Cataract surgery is ridiculously fast and easy. My mother, who has macular degeneration, had it and was amazed that she was again able to see colors after having lost that.

I took my mother to her appointment, they took her in, I settled into the waiting room to read a magazine, and they told me she was done. Seriously, it was that fast -- 20 minutes at the most. She was given an appointment for a follow-up with her doctor -- two hours later. It was all done in the span of a morning.

Perhaps you could try to point out to your dad that he will not be able to drive without cataract surgery -- and here's the important part -- tell him it's out of your hands. Oftentimes if we put the onus on some unknown entity that has tied your hands, our loved ones take news a little better. It somehow appeals to their sense of responsibility to follow rules when common sense and family pleas fail.

Also, tell him how easy and foolproof cataract surgery is. It truly is ridiculously simple, yet the benefits are amazing.
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Reply to MJ1929

Why would you report him to APS? They have nothing to do with him driving.

You need to fill out the DMV form in his state and report him as a potentially dangerous driver. Your sister should do the same. Two forms from concerned family members will be more impactful. Yes, he may find out it was you and your sister, and he will get angry and possibly cuss you out, but if he gets into a car accident and kills himself or someone else, think about how you feel for the rest of your life.
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Reply to NYDaughterInLaw

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