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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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FTD can be horrendous, especially if it's the behavioral variant. There are medications that can calm the impulsive behavior. I suggest making an appointment with a neurologist now instead of waiting for a referral following her appointment next month. You may need to wait for over a month, anyhow.
Although I've had a good talk with my cousin who is a nurse -- who told me what to expect & how to now take control,
Posting an initial query here made it "real";
Based on the comments feedback, I reached out to the county re: resources.. they first need the diagnosis.
Mom's young (20-something) physician's office gave unforeseen "pushback" when I called last June to report developments which indicate most likely FTD (and maybe a "mix" of dementia types), so I'm writing a letter and emailing it to the dr. with all observable info and updates.. so that she has the info a week in advance of Mom's December appt. (that she's allowing me to attend), and so that the dr. finally addresses my defiant Mom having a cognitive/dementia test + a referral to a neurologist.
Mom took the OSU home test this past summer (I said there might be a new law that seniors might need to take a test before they re-up their car registration -- "do you want to see what the test looks like?") and she failed one section. I asked her to share this with her physician; she declined [so: it's up to me to be assertive in this area now].
Have been watching a couple youtube channels which teach how best to "work with" parents with dementia; the approach, and my resulting shift has been Priceless 🙏 Grateful 💛
Before the December "diagnosis plan" appt., where we can begin the journey of diagnosis.. and then look into a care plan "for right now" and throughout the disease development (first starting with POAs in all areas) -- including "what" type of careperson or resource/s would be "most" heloful --> Something greater has happened this past week which will (unfortunately?) cement the letter/info/facts that I give to Mom's dr. before her December appt. --> and will cement positive testing/treating of diagnosed dementia going fwd..
(So: even though my post was a "shot in the dark," the Feedback was so helpful; So much of this is like the childhood game of "You're getting colderrrrr.. Ok, Warmer now.. Hot! You're getting hotter! Yes, you're needing to get closer to the right direction!" lol)
So: "Thankfully" (???) the situation that happened this past week (I won't get into details, but her behavior & defiance is catching the negative attn of 2 third-party organizations) is being witnessed and noted by others who can confirm a cognitive downturn & denial & defiance. One of the 3rd parties deals with legal repurcussions re: her poor judgment, poor cognitive behavior, denial, defiance.. and sheer lack of competence re: both living alone and also is leading to the discontinuance of a small business she's been running for 10 years; It's time to retire 🙏 (Before her biz is shutdown, fined, and her reputation goes South very badly.) She simply.. the DISEASE simply.. CANNOT allow her to think & do "the right thing".. and legal thing.. any longer 💛
So: thanks for straightforward respinses to my first attempt to figure out the next best steps; the replies helped, because I didn't know what I didn't know o.0 lol
I just had to start Somewhere!! lol
PS - LOVED the idea of ME being the person who needs assistance 🙏 Thank you so much!!
Thank you all for your time & thoughts.. Highly Appreciate!!!!
You find some. With an 85-year-old who has mid-level dementia, expect dementia to advance quickly. A companion may not be enough, as a companion doesn't clean up bathroom messes, shower or bathe them. Eventually you will need a team that can provide 24/7 care. That usually means at least three trained caregivers who DO toilet them, bathe them, and ensure that they are safe within the environment. You may need special equipment, so look into it now.
You've taken on an enormous chore, and many people who attempt home care for a loved one soon find that they don't have the training, stamina or patience to carry it through. Always have an alternate plan.
You can start little by little, ie the companion doesn't come right away all day, every day. The aid comes and you act like you are directing her/his activities, then you leave for a while so your Mom can warm up to the aid. Chemistry and experience will be important in whoever you hire. Don't be discouraged if the first few people don't seem like a good fit -- from my personal experience, it is worth persisting in finding the right person.
Sorry, not really enough information here to answer you. We would need to know a bit more about your plans. About what plans you made before this move in. I do not now see EVER a job description for companion. People now want about 35.00 just to show up and chat with you for an hour.
Does your mother require 24/7 monitoring? Is that going to work for your life? Was a plan of care and documentation, shared living costs, etc. worked out before this move? Are you really ready, willing and able to give up your life entirely to your parent for so long as she may live?
By taking in a parent with dementia your world has just gone Topsy-Turvey. If your real question here is about hiring companions you can start with calling agencies, but I think you will quickly find that this isn't really the question to "start" with.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
You have my sympathy.
Although I've had a good talk with my cousin who is a nurse -- who told me what to expect & how to now take control,
Posting an initial query here made it "real";
Based on the comments feedback, I reached out to the county re: resources.. they first need the diagnosis.
Mom's young (20-something) physician's office gave unforeseen "pushback" when I called last June to report developments which indicate most likely FTD (and maybe a "mix" of dementia types), so I'm writing a letter and emailing it to the dr. with all observable info and updates.. so that she has the info a week in advance of Mom's December appt. (that she's allowing me to attend), and so that the dr. finally addresses my defiant Mom having a cognitive/dementia test + a referral to a neurologist.
Mom took the OSU home test this past summer (I said there might be a new law that seniors might need to take a test before they re-up their car registration -- "do you want to see what the test looks like?") and she failed one section. I asked her to share this with her physician; she declined [so: it's up to me to be assertive in this area now].
Have been watching a couple youtube channels which teach how best to "work with" parents with dementia; the approach, and my resulting shift has been Priceless 🙏 Grateful 💛
Before the December "diagnosis plan" appt., where we can begin the journey of diagnosis.. and then look into a care plan "for right now" and throughout the disease development (first starting with POAs in all areas) -- including "what" type of careperson or resource/s would be "most" heloful --> Something greater has happened this past week which will (unfortunately?) cement the letter/info/facts that I give to Mom's dr. before her December appt. --> and will cement positive testing/treating of diagnosed dementia going fwd..
(So: even though my post was a "shot in the dark," the Feedback was so helpful; So much of this is like the childhood game of "You're getting colderrrrr.. Ok, Warmer now.. Hot! You're getting hotter! Yes, you're needing to get closer to the right direction!" lol)
So: "Thankfully" (???) the situation that happened this past week (I won't get into details, but her behavior & defiance is catching the negative attn of 2 third-party organizations) is being witnessed and noted by others who can confirm a cognitive downturn & denial & defiance. One of the 3rd parties deals with legal repurcussions re: her poor judgment, poor cognitive behavior, denial, defiance.. and sheer lack of competence re: both living alone and also is leading to the discontinuance of a small business she's been running for 10 years; It's time to retire 🙏 (Before her biz is shutdown, fined, and her reputation goes South very badly.) She simply.. the DISEASE simply.. CANNOT allow her to think & do "the right thing".. and legal thing.. any longer 💛
So: thanks for straightforward respinses to my first attempt to figure out the next best steps; the replies helped, because I didn't know what I didn't know o.0 lol
I just had to start Somewhere!! lol
PS - LOVED the idea of ME being the person who needs assistance 🙏 Thank you so much!!
Thank you all for your time & thoughts.. Highly Appreciate!!!!
Have a wonderful week! 😊✨️
You've taken on an enormous chore, and many people who attempt home care for a loved one soon find that they don't have the training, stamina or patience to carry it through. Always have an alternate plan.
Good luck with all of it!
We would need to know a bit more about your plans. About what plans you made before this move in. I do not now see EVER a job description for companion. People now want about 35.00 just to show up and chat with you for an hour.
Does your mother require 24/7 monitoring?
Is that going to work for your life?
Was a plan of care and documentation, shared living costs, etc. worked out before this move? Are you really ready, willing and able to give up your life entirely to your parent for so long as she may live?
By taking in a parent with dementia your world has just gone Topsy-Turvey.
If your real question here is about hiring companions you can start with calling agencies, but I think you will quickly find that this isn't really the question to "start" with.