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I live far away. I have a few days to hire another person but will need a trustworthy family member to oversee and make sure the new person is reliable. Close by family members unwilling. Any ideas? I’m concerned of potential elder neglect/ abuse. The helper would be on their cell phone and gives bad attitude if my Mom asks her to do things. Mom is frail and needs oxygen therapy. Or any tips to prevent elder abuse? Thank you.

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To Your Health: I too live away from my dad, 70 miles. My husband installed cameras in my dads home so we could check on him. (you need internet service for this) Perhaps that is something that you could do so you could see your mom at times during the day.
We have a camera in the dining room which captures the "formal" dining room and also the kitchen and another one in the living room which captures the stairs (we were worried about him falling down) and the front door (inside the room) and the hall. We also have a camera outside above the front door.
They cost about $200 and we pay $20.00 a month for a recording that lasts 10 days.
I will say that having the cameras has helped me have some peace of mind when my dad is alone. It isn't perfect but we can see that he is ok and can also see if caregivers are treating him right.

Hope this helps.
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"to your health" - I think this message should be to you instead of frequent flyer? So I'm sending it again - sorry if it went to the wrong party.
Hello "freqflyer" re: caregiver concern: In your reply: "She’s had other caregivers before and most were fine. I noticed the cell phone use and her sighing when my mother asks her to move things. This is with me in the room. If no one else was around, what would that helper be like?"

@@ - I understand your concern, but in reading your comment I have a few questions/comments you may want to think about. You mention "Close by family members unwilling"...  
Q. Were there any problems with previous caregivers? 
Why are close family unwilling?
Could it be since they are local, they know that mom can be a little difficult/demanding? Also, what do you consider a bad attitude? As a former 24/7 caregiver, your day is filled with things that are required to be done including calls you need to make. And even if that's not the case, is the caregiver calling on her break? 
Another thing we all are guilty of is needing attention - this is especially true with elderly patients "I want all your attention on me" syndrome. Also, you mentioned "mom asks her to do things" Are the things she's asking caregiver related?  
I commend you for your concern and being observant, but perhaps you may want to reflect, if there were any problems with previous caregivers of the same type? Or perhaps if there was one your mom was comfortable with, if so maybe you can rehire that person to give you peace of mine.   
globee
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It sounds like maybe you caught her on a bad day. You live far away and aren’t there day to day.
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Reply to worriedinCali
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Hello "freqflyer" re: caregiver concern: In your reply: "She’s had other caregivers before and most were fine. I noticed the cell phone use and her sighing when my mother asks her to move things. This is with me in the room. If no one else was around, what would that helper be like?"

@@ - I understand your concern, but in reading your comment I have a few questions/comments you may want to think about. You mention "Close by family members unwilling"...  
Q. Were there any problems with previous caregivers? 
Why are close family unwilling?
Could it be since they are local, they know that mom can be a little difficult/demanding? Also, what do you consider a bad attitude? As a former 24/7 caregiver, your day is filled with things that are required to be done including calls you need to make. And even if that's not the case, is the caregiver calling on her break? 
Another thing we all are guilty of is needing attention - this is especially true with elderly patients "I want all your attention on me" syndrome. Also, you mentioned "mom asks her to do things" Are the things she's asking caregiver related?  
I commend you for your concern and being observant, but perhaps you may want to reflect, if there were any problems with previous caregivers of the same type? Or perhaps if there was one your mom was comfortable with, if so maybe you can rehire that person to give you peace of mine.   
globee
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Thanks for your reply. She’s had other caregivers before and most were fine. I noticed the cell phone use and her sighing when my mother asks her to move things. This is with me in the room. If no one else was around, what would that helper be like?
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Reply to toyourhealth
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freqflyer Dec 23, 2018
toyourhealth, everyone now a days has cellphones and use them at work, even when caregiving. Caregivers can have children arriving home from school and they have questions for their Mom, etc.

As for your mother asking the caregiver to move things. Maybe that caregiver had already moved different things throughout the day. That can become physically draining to the best of professional caregivers. So I would give the caregiver the benefit of the doubt.
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toyourhealth, curious how you are finding out that the caregiver is not nice to your Mom when no one else is around? If no one is around, that tell me this is something that your Mom is saying when you call her.

It could be your Mom has the best caregiver in the world, but if Mom isn't happy that she, herself, is aging, she will start to tell stories hoping that everything will be right with the world if change is made. And hiring a new caregiver, who needs to start from scratch learning how to work smoothly with your Mom, is not going to fix things.

So, unless there is actual proof that the caregiver isn't doing a good job, then and only then should a change be made. New routines are difficult for an elder.
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