AA says: "There is a solution." (not a cure). It is a daily reprieve from drinking g based on our spiritual condition. We never graduate. We don't really give anything up...Among the happiest people on earth are recovering alcholics in AA.
First a trip to the doctors. change in behavior can be caused by health problems. Then there is controlled drinking. where a person, gives them a rationed amount of booze. One problem while drinking people forget how much they have had, and go way to far.A tell tale sign is that there mood changes, if it goes from bad to worse, then getting sober might be the only way. Remember one shoe does not fit all sizes.
AA, Counseling, etc., CAN help get out of an alcoholic rut, IF the person themselves Wants that, and are willing to keep doing the work to achieve keeping off ETOH. Our society has spent terrible amounts of resources trying, often in the wrong ways, to make it go away, and failed. I've witnessed family members stuck in it, destroying themselves, repeatedly making excuses. The collateral damages can be epic. Behaviors indigenous to chronically using a substance to alter one's mind, to numb-out pain of body and mind, and even pain of Spirit, are cries for help, letting society know that they did not get their needs met, got poorly parented, got injured along the path of their lives. Even if subsequent generations manage to avoid chronic or episodic alcohol use, the behaviors keep turning up for generations to come. I've managed to avoid ETOH use; it was clear it was ruining otherwise amazing people I loved. Some siblings managed to avoid it, too. But, only because we experienced what it does to those we love, and chose to avoid that... But none of us could entirely avoid the messed-up behaviors that come along with it. It goes back generations, and that collateral damage spreads forward, too. Those who DO manage to break those cycles, have done something really important. We look openly at the issue, we SEE that elephant in the room, and we speak out about it, hoping to light a better path for others. THIS is where those cycles can be interrupted. Choose better paths, then keep picking yourself up daily; use beneficial self-talk and constructive goal-setting to achieve useful, higher goals than those before you. If those around you cannot deal with you speaking of that elephant in the room, find another room, and leave them their elephants. Their elephants do not have to be yours. That applies to ANY of those things, be it substance abuse, other abuses, people who repeatedly sabotage you, whatever. YOU have a right to create the path you want to follow....make it a really good one! Try to do that determination when you are a young adult, instead of waiting until you are old....but even if you missed decades, you can still choose to make whatever good changes, forge a better path, and make your life better.
smcbeth1....you can't get your husband sober...but you will learn everything you need to know about living with an aloholic and how to cope with the problems. alanon...all these people have first hand experience. also...you can go to several different meetings in your area...you might feel more comfortable in one vs another. BUT, you will hear what you need to hear...you will find it to be an enourmous comfort in your life! good luck
i be - friend -- customered a gal last winter who vehemently insisted that her husband ( 75 yrs old ) died of alchoholism and lung cancer . after getting to know the gal for a while im convinced that he died because he WANTED to . what a money grubbing farce .. i feel so bad for her hard working husband . she was pretty and thats about all ..
A 54 year old who's been seeking treatment/a miracle cure for half of his life, and is now living alone with only his cat and cigarettes for company…
Well, would you go to an aging care forum first? The poster is either someone who is young enough to believe that 54 is old, which could mean child of the drinker or well-meaning health profession student; or has asked elsewhere and doesn't like the options. Either way, I can't believe he or she is seriously expecting answers.
However, in my case, my husband has cerebellar ataxia in addition to dementia. He has no balance. Drinking can mean deadly falls. So he can't have it, but he never stops asking for it. He forgets. SAD! I'm going to start Al-anon soon, but I don't know how much experienced they are with these sorts of problems.
lol , cak i had a girlfriend a few years ago who told me she didnt like me when i was drunk . i told her i didnt like her when i was sober .,. it took more than one point of view to bring civilized society to where it is today -- for better or worse ..
Alcoholism in the elderly is actually a common problem, but often one that gets overlooked so much so that elderly alcoholics are called the "hidden population."
At 55 years old, one may barely qualify for the AARP card, (I am not quite 50 and I have it cause my spouse has it) but I am waiting for my senior discounts for AT LEAST ten more years....I know MANY newcomers in AA that are in their seventies....and I also know that there are other options besides AA that ALSO work just fine....one pretty much DOES need to stop drinking. Check out books by Terry Gorski, and check out the national council on alcoholism and drug dependence. It IS a family disease.....can lead a horse to water, can't make them drink...or in this case, stop drinking. Amazing how, when changing oneself, it tips the balance, and another person needs to adjust, or not.
55 is not elderly I agree but I think what you mean is a long time alcoholic. A person who has been drinking that long has to want to stop. There is no cure for the disease but like many other diseases one can life with it if they understand what it takes to manage it. For alcoholism the treatment is not drinking at all...as life said above there is no controled drinking for someone with this disease. After drinking heavly for 25 years it wont be easy but can be done. He has however most likely done much damage to his liver which cannot be repaired. You desire to want to help is wonderful but you cannot for this is one of only a few diesases where the answer lays totally in the patients hands. AA has helped hundreds of thousands stay sober but they will all tell you they are only one drink away from relapse. He may never stop, so you need to heed the advice of other posters and find help for yourself through AlAnon, reading, or perhaps removing yourself from the situation. It is a very sad thing to watch a person distroy themselves. I hope you find the help you need to cope and not be sucked down with him.
My experience is No, there is no cure. My father was an alcoholic and smoked a carton of cigarettes a day. I personally think that was his way of slowly committing suicide. He was always miserable. Then, my oldest brother died of a heroine and cocaine OD, aka a speedball. The person can only be cured if they themselves no longer want to live that lifestyle and actually admit they have a problem and want to change. Other than that, it is about as effective as talking to a wall. Do not wring your hands over this, it is ultimately their decision and you must accept that you may have to be a bystander to a persons self destruction. You can put someone in a rehab but if they don't go on their own accord, they will go right back to it when they are released. I have not only had my own immediate family with alcohol or drug addictions, ( whom ultimately died from it ) but have known many people with these problems. Sorry to not be positive on this one but I have been there, done that.
My brother in law is an alcoholic. He has had more DUI's than I can shake a stick at, has been in rehab more times than I can shake a stick at, and when he's not living in my sister's house, he's a tent boy. I have a good mind to notify the Pike County, Pennsylvania authorities to yank him off the road for good; that way, he won't be a danger to others and himself. I don't know if I can do this because I live in a different state.
Obviously, a person has to WANT to recover in order to join AA or another group which promotes recovery from alcoholism. If a person chooses not to, then he's chosen his life and will likely die as a result. YOU, on the other hand, did NOT choose such a life, and should find support from others in the same boat, via Al-Anon or a similar support group. Of course there is no 'cure' for alcoholism except for abstinence. Perhaps the doctor can prescribe him Naltrexone, or one of the other medications that curb the desire to drink, or make a person sick when they DO drink. But again, the person has 'gotta wanna' stop drinking & find sobriety to BEGIN with.
There is no cure for alcoholism. The person has to decide by themselves for themselves that they don't want to drink and then quit. I am sorry to be so direct, but it is true.
It takes longer to kill someone with alcoholism than by smoking. He needs to stop both, but smoking is THE most dangerous addiction one can have and does more harm to the human body than alcohol. With smoking he can kill others with second and third hand smoke, with alcohol he harms himself first, unless he gets into a car and drives. Alcoholism is a lifelong struggle, and no one is "cured" from it unless they die.
Al-Anon offers support for you from people who have experienced what you are going through. It also teaches what 'enabling' is, and how it actually helps the alcoholic continue to ignore the seriousness of his condition. Good luck, and God Bless.
AA believes it's the first drink that gets you drunk. As someone who's been sober in AA for 44 years, I always keep this in mind. The person may need to detox under supervision before trying AA.
Grace + Peace.
Bob
Our society has spent terrible amounts of resources trying, often in the wrong ways, to make it go away, and failed. I've witnessed family members stuck in it, destroying themselves, repeatedly making excuses. The collateral damages can be epic.
Behaviors indigenous to chronically using a substance to alter one's mind, to numb-out pain of body and mind, and even pain of Spirit, are cries for help, letting society know that they did not get their needs met, got poorly parented, got injured along the path of their lives. Even if subsequent generations manage to avoid chronic or episodic alcohol use, the behaviors keep turning up for generations to come.
I've managed to avoid ETOH use; it was clear it was ruining otherwise amazing people I loved. Some siblings managed to avoid it, too. But, only because we experienced what it does to those we love, and chose to avoid that...
But none of us could entirely avoid the messed-up behaviors that come along with it. It goes back generations, and that collateral damage spreads forward, too.
Those who DO manage to break those cycles, have done something really important. We look openly at the issue, we SEE that elephant in the room, and we speak out about it, hoping to light a better path for others.
THIS is where those cycles can be interrupted.
Choose better paths, then keep picking yourself up daily; use beneficial self-talk and constructive goal-setting to achieve useful, higher goals than those before you. If those around you cannot deal with you speaking of that elephant in the room, find another room, and leave them their elephants. Their elephants do not have to be yours. That applies to ANY of those things, be it substance abuse, other abuses, people who repeatedly sabotage you, whatever.
YOU have a right to create the path you want to follow....make it a really good one!
Try to do that determination when you are a young adult, instead of waiting until you are old....but even if you missed decades, you can still choose to make whatever good changes, forge a better path, and make your life better.
after getting to know the gal for a while im convinced that he died because he WANTED to .
what a money grubbing farce ..
i feel so bad for her hard working husband .
she was pretty and thats about all ..
A 54 year old who's been seeking treatment/a miracle cure for half of his life, and is now living alone with only his cat and cigarettes for company…
Well, would you go to an aging care forum first? The poster is either someone who is young enough to believe that 54 is old, which could mean child of the drinker or well-meaning health profession student; or has asked elsewhere and doesn't like the options. Either way, I can't believe he or she is seriously expecting answers.
i had a girlfriend a few years ago who told me she didnt like me when i was drunk . i told her i didnt like her when i was sober .,.
it took more than one point of view to bring civilized society to where it is today -- for better or worse ..
Grace + Peace,
Bob
Best of luck to you, my friend.