Crying and moaning in sleep. Is this common with dementia?

2TiredinFlorida....DUMP that doctor!! There have to be some that care!

Despite my surrogate dad having dementia, he never, ever made a sound as he slept. I'm not sure how common what you're describing really is, all I can do is tell you from my own experience. I had an elderly friend who was suspected to have dementia, and he frequently talked and cried out in his sleep. It was only suspected he might have dementia but only his doctor knows for sure whether or not he does. He has since been put into a nursing home because he put himself there through self-neglect. He could've avoided it as we all know.

2Tired - If that is her doctor's response I would get another doctor, preferably one who is a geriatrician - that is, one who specializes in elder patients. I'd also INSIST on a urine sample.

I also agree with others here that she may have pain that is causing her discomfort, and the moaning and crying. Can you give her an aspirin or other analgesic before she goes to bed at night? (I have arthritis myself and often take a couple of Advil so I don't wake up in pain during the night. They help me get a good night's sleep.)

But mostly I think you need to see another doctor!

After suffering thru many similar nights with my husband, I have finally realized that when he starts the moaning, etc. I get him up to the bathroom. With that exercise when he is back in bed he will usually go right to sleep. (No he usually doesn't go but his diaper was very wet...so I am assuming that was the cause of the moaning and being uncomfortable.) While I hate waking and getting up in the middle of the night...at least afterwards things settle down..

College, there is medication for ur Mom.

Sorry if repeating but just can't read all the post right now. My Mom does the same thing occasionally. Its a night terror type of thing. If she goes on too long, I wake her up and have her open her eyes. I have talked to her neurologist and this i normal. But, if happens more than once a week, he will give her something to help stop them.

I don't know if this will help but worth a try. I don't have dementia but I do cry, moan in my sleep and appear to be waking and "out of it" with no memory of it in the morning. I in fact only know of this thanks to my late partner telling me. What we found helped was for me to have a small dim light on all night. Also to have pillows (cushions in the USA?) on one side of me. If they are in danger of falling out but a swim noodle under the sheet & it will hold the pillows. This didn't completely stop the problem but it did lesson it. Since being widowed I've added a very soft throw which is often beside me as too hot as a cover. If I'm half awake & distressed I can reach out for the throw and the warmth & softness comforts and I sleep again. After my beloved died I gave up my light & pillows for a while because I felt that an adult shouldn't need them. I now know that I wake much more refreshed with these aids. Also I find it helpful to have a clock with a gentle tick in the background.

My mom also moans, whimpers, is restless and talks in her sleep, sometimes calling out to God as well. Sometimes I try to wake her, thinking it might be a bad dream, but she is still at a different level of consciousness. She is convinced she is dying, she can't feel her feet, and the carpal tunnel syndrome is terrible at night. We have put in a second request for another referral for the surgery (it was scheduled at one point but we had to cancel). As many of you experienced, she has no recollection of it in the morning. The doctor says she's fine, too, but the medical establishment's perception of health is the absence of clinical disease.

My Mother just started that stuff this morning. She has had days and nights mixed up for about 8 months. This morning she was crying for someone to help her. She wanted Joyce, that is me and she keeps asking where the other Joyce went. She wants to go home! I hate this and feel sick in my tummy. She just keeps crying and saying she can't figure this out. What is going on? I will call the doctor tomorrow. I don't want to spend the whole day at the hospital, spent last Sunday there for her URI

Seems our only alternative is placement in a home, but most of us cannot afford it. If you aren poor, and you aren't rich, you are condemned to do all the care yourself. It is not fair and I am getting sick of it!

Thank you all for your kind responses!

I heard about a home where they reverse the day and night, i.e. the residents and staff are awake all night going about normal routines, meals etc... and then in the morning everyone goes to sleep. Apparently it has been working well.

my mother in law talks all night loudly and yells about needing help also. but I just let her go through it and she finally calms down and goes back to sleep. She is so afraid of dying that that is why she calls for help, I think. When she is cognizant the next day, she remembers nothing.

My husband, who has frontal temporal lobe dementia, does these same things at night. This has been going on for about a year and a half. We have tried (with the doctor) many different meds, different doses, changing times of taking meds, etc. None of this stops the symptoms. He also has hallucinations.
When daylight comes, he doesn't usually remember any of the thrashing and screaming of the night before.
Yes, it is very hard on us. When this begins to happen in the night, our sleep is very sporadic, if any, since we are just waiting for the next episode to happen!
It is heartbreaking, emotionally and physically draining. I guess I'll just say, for now, I'd rather have him home with me, rather than in a facility.
Try your best to take care of yourself!

Well according to Moms doctor she is doing just fine. I have never actually seen him examine here, he simply goes by her bloodwork, but that's the way doctors are in these parts. Her previous doctor ( and Dad's ) was just the same. He will tell me "she's doing just fine" and send us home. I have tried to talk to him, but to no avail. I must instead talk to his front desk, and they advise me. They do not seem to be very concerned that she may have dementia. She is always fine other than having hearing difficulties when at the doctor. I asked him once, could she have a urinary problem, because she had an awful odor. He just replied that her bloodwork showed "no problems".

I don't know that crying and moaning in sleep is unusual with dementia - everyone is so different. I do know that this has to be terribly upsetting for you. I'd talk with the doctor about it and make certain that she doesn't have any pain that could be eliminated such as something from a UTI, arthritis or other issues that may go under the radar.

Please keep us updated,
Carol

My mom had Lewy body and Parkinsons, went thru a period where she was hallucinating. She didn't cry and moan. My sister and I took turns sleeping with mom so dad could get some rest. She would constantly ask to get up, go downstairs. After sometime of not being able to console her we came to discover that she was seeing people (cleaners she would call them) in the room at night. When it came to the point that she slept all day and was awake all night the neurologist suggested seroquel. We gave half a pill at 8pm and the other half at 10. This worked somewhat but she would still be sleeping most of the morning. At this time a very low dose of ritalin was introduced. This combination allowed her to get the rest she needed (and us) during the night and not being so out of it in the morning. It took us a while to have mom open up about what was causing her not to be able to sleep at night. If this is the case, don't say what she is seeing is not there because that could just make matters worse. This may not be your moms problem at all but just a thought I wanted to throw out there. It is heartbreaking to watch someone cry and not know how to "fix" it. Good luck.

In answer to your question, yes, it is the dementia. Before quitting my job to stay home and take care of my own mother with dementia I worked in nursing homes for many years. It was very common to see the elderly with dementia crying or moaning there. It is very much like having a child that knows that something is wrong but can't express to you what it is or what they are feeling. My own mother doesn't usually cry or moan, but she has started to make these whimpering sounds. Yes, you are right! It is a very heartbreaking process! My mother doesn't even remember who I am anymore. She often wants to go home and thinks her home is with her mom and dad, probably because that is the time in her life that she remembers feeling safe. Sometimes when I tell her that they have been long gone she starts to cry as if grieving all over again! I guess the best we can to is to offer some sort of comfort and reassurance that everything is okay and just be at peace knowing that we are there for our loved ones while they are still alive.

2Tired, could your Mom maybe have a urinary tract infection that makes her more restless since she is needing to go to the bathroom too? My Mom gets restless and babbles and yells at night when she has a UTI until she gets an antibiotic for a few days and gets rid of the UTI.

My mom (and I) are dealing with dementia. She cries often since this began. I tell her I've never seen her cry in my life until now and she agrees. When I ask why she is crying at that moment she always says she doesn't know. Watching my mom losing her battle with cancer and pulmonary fibrosis is difficult enough. Everything that goes with dementia just takes heartbreaking to a whole new level. For background: We live in separate apartments in a 4 family (ours) house. She has round the clock care other than 3 hours in the morning and 2 at night. But I am the only responsible person. There is no other help other than the people who are paid. Hospice only gives 15 hours a week. And at this point I don't feel safe leaving my mom with the people from there. That's all for now.

How sad and troubling this must be for you. I don't have any suggestions or insight but just wanted to offer my concern for you and your mother.