Crying and moaning in sleep. Is this common with dementia?

My 82 year old Dad also does this 'calling on Jesus to help him" and moans and whimpers in his sleep. He hasn't been diagnosed with Dementia and doesn't show real signs of it (occassionally he says some "nonsensical" phrases". He recognizes everyone and talks with "good sense" most other times. I just attribute it to what is called "Night Terrors" which are bad dreams. I feel like his conscience bothers him about some "past sins" or experienced wrong doings done to him and his dreams tap into that. I obviously don't know for sure, but he has had these bad dreams for many years and while awake he would share some he remembered.

I also kept a small lamp on and placed it on the floor, make sure no shadows from the light. I also used a small ($20 Walmart) air purifier/ white noise machine, and kept a soft music (no words) on all night. My mom slept much better when she could not hear any outside noises. I also noticed when the blinds were turned up to close you could see shadows if a car passed the house so I turned blinds downward. We kept to a schedule with regard to going to bed and getting up. If it was a bad night and mom was not able to be consoled, we did a lot of praying together, only said prayers that mom would join in. She knew who I was but forgot Everyones name but she knew every word of Hail Mary and Our Father.

After reading your response, I wonder where you live in Florida. From my own experience in Central Florida (two hours south of Orlando), the quality of care in most specialties is sub-par. Even in larger areas in other parts of the country, many doctors are not that familiar with all the variations in symptoms for the major kinds of depression. There is no one set of symptoms, no one size fits all, from which to classify dementia, Lewy Body, or the blends of Parkinson-like symptoms.

I do not know if this helps you or not but I am only 57 years old and have the same issues during the night. I think, judging from what my husband told me, the behavior is more disturbing to loved ones than to the person experiencing the disturbed sleep.

Finally, I have a friend in Central Florida whose mother behaves the same way. Fine with the doctor, back to her old self at home. Refuses to get a new doctor and complains about trips. I doubt you are the same person, so you are not alone in your struggles. I wish aging was easier for all of us but it is rough. She does not remember what happened in her sleep which is a small blessing for her sake?!

Sounds like she is in pain. Could be constipation, UTI, dental or anything else. Time to call her doctor.

I have a 15 watt light on in Mom's room all night so she does not become disoriented or afraid. This has helped her sleep and kept the night noise to a minimum so far.

2Tired: Your mother is now like a child so crying is to be expected.

Thank you for asking that question. My husband has just been diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer's and is still in the early-to-mid stages. He does the same thing at night: moaning, whimpering sometimes, and thrashing about. It's so jarring and frightens me that he might be ill but he doesn't remember anything about it when he wakes and is usually fine. I know of no other physical problem with him at this time. I am hoping to discuss this with his neurologist in two weeks. Thanks to all of you for your answers and sharing. It helps to know we are not alone.

Just one additional consideration. I have worked with dementia patients both in nursing home and Hospice settings. There are many possible reasons that have already been identified but don't leave out the possibility of actual spiritual distress. Often as people approach the end of life they will struggle with a spiritual issue from much earlier in their life. Since dementia patients often remember earlier events more clearly this may be a possibility. If it is a possibility consider support from whatever spiritual practices she found important. If she was involved in a formal religious organization, familiar music, prayers and readings may provide comfort. I hope these ideas help.

Ok, thanks all for your replies. I do not have a choice of Doctors, and she likes this one. He is a Geriatric doctor!
No she is not taking any medication. I for one do not want her, taking lots and lots of pills. I likewise take heart medication and nothing other than supplements. Before moving to Florida I always went to a naturopathic doctor. Here that is not possible. She also does not want to take anything, that makes her "dopey". Other than her memory, she is pretty "with it" and that is the problem when we are at the doctor. He has tested her, and she passed with flying colors. Then when we get home, she goes back to her "normal" self. I had the same thing with my father. They gave him all kinds of tests and insisted he did not have dementia or alzheimers. Like with mom, they said " he is doing just fine". I did have a visiting nurse for him though that would come in several times a week, as well as a therapist to help him exercise. That was in Tampa, out here they do not provide those services. I wish we had stayed in the city. And no, she will not travel out of town to get care. She already complains because it takes us twenty minutes to get to the doctors office. She does not like to leave the house, and worries that she will have an "accident" when riding in the car.

What a wretched, vile disease this is! So sorry for the people it's happening to and for those who care for them. Tears running down my face as I read these comments. My prayers go out to all of you and to the poor lost souls you are taking care of!

I'm wondering if part of this is actually pretty similar to a small child waking up in the middle of the night in a strange environment. My granddaughter moaned and cried out in the night when staying with us, until we would go in and reassure her and settle her back down. Perhaps our elders are experiencing something like that, waking up partially or fully and not realizing where they are and being confused. I'm realizing that perhaps an always familiar "blankee" and/or loved stuffed animal might help. My son and his wife used a "white noise" machine when my granddaughter was quite young. Perhaps that would help to block out background noises - especially for elders in settings that are noisy. In addition to ruling out other causes, perhaps taking an approach similar to that with small children in unfamiliar settings might help...

My Mother tries to stay awake alnight too. Talking loud to people?? Yesterday morning she was out of her head. Last night I tried melatonin times released.5 mg. She slept for 6 hrs. Thank GOD and was pleasant today. Love you all, prayers & hugs. We gave it to her at 9:00pm and put her to bed finally at midnight and she slept until 6 am.

Alzheimer's is such a difficult disease for family caregivers to deal with. There is so much going on that we do not understand. It is confusing, scary, and heartbreaking. That said, sleep disorders are not uncommon among Alzheimer's patients. Until recently, my mother couldn't sleep enough. She would sleep 12 hours or more every night. Now she lays awake at night talking to her imaginary friends. So, I presume that your mother's behavior is triggered by her illness. If the problem is triggered by the need to use the bathroom make sure you cut off liquids long before she retires. Also, have her checked for a UTI.

No disrespect intended by this - which is meant to be a bit humorous, despite it's real truth and sobering implications - but in my role as live-in 24/7 caregiver for mom (with assistance/periodic breaks from several sibs), I am more often the one who can be heard saying "God help me, please help me" (that EXACT phrase) repeatedly...

I can't say mom exactly cries at night, but there is significant sighing and moaning/groaning, often to the point that it sounds as if something might be seriously wrong, and I have to ask. (It isn't.) There is also some semblance of that going on during the day, but it is a little more like whining/lamenting. (When asked if she is OK, I am told repeatedly "I just like to fuss".)

While all of this can be somewhat unnerving, maybe a little frustrating or annoying, it is a relatively minor difficulty of this venture as far as I am concerned - on the scale of difficulty of all things that make this such an incredible challenge.

Not to worry, I have no intention of trying to outline those things that do tend to do me in. I haven't the energy for that. But I do ask God for help ALL day EVERY day, to get through each minute, hour, day.

And to answer the initial question that was asked, yes, I believe what you are experiencing with your mom is indeed an aspect of dementia.

God help us, please help us ALL.

It might not be the same situation but my husband who has Parkinson's would wake in the night shouting and thrashing, sometimes even grabbing me around the throat! He seemed to be in a half dream state when this happened acting on a perceived attack from a bear or such and surprised when I told him about it. He was put on 25 mg of amitriptyline before sleep and it has worked like magic. I can tell right off when hasn't taken it. He is never groggy or tired the next day and gets deeper sleep because of this.

I agree it is a good idea to get your loved one checked out for a UTI. In my mom's case, she doesn't complain of any pain or have the crying or moaning when she gets a UTI. She has increased confusion, gets weak and shaky and has more trouble with walking and transfers (including increased risk of falls or actual falls), and her blood pressure and blood sugar spike. However, everyone is different, so if the crying and moaning is something that comes on suddenly it might be a good idea to get it checked out for a possible UTI. Good suggestion.

Also, my mom gets agitated at times, especially at night due to the Sundowner's. So she is on Lorazepam to help keep her calm. Seeing as I am not a nurse, I was just telling you what I observed when I worked in rehab at a SNF. I was in no way saying that you shouldn't get your mom checked out for something else that might be going on medically with her. Of course you should! Perhaps the doctor might be able to suggest an antidepressant or anti-anxiety medication if needed. Or even pain medication if needed. I was just saying that chances are it is probably just due to the dementia. Just imagine how scary it must be to wake up and don't know where you are, what's going on, or who all of these strange people are! You wake up and you're in a strange environment and you don't remember how you got there! Perhaps they don't know how to verbalize what they are feeling because of the dementia, so they cry and moan. Or they wake up from a nightmare and can't tell if it's real or just a dream. Or perhaps they are hallucinating! I know my mom had a little boy in bed with her a few nights there and kept getting up and going out to the recliner. I told the doctor about it and he prescribed an antipsychotic drug for her, but that seemed to make the problem even worse! So anyways. all I was saying is chances are that it's just the dementia. But that's not to say you shouldn't get her checked out or talk to the doctor about it. If it's due to Sundowner's, hallucinations, depression or anxiety stemming from the dementia then perhaps there's some sort of medication they can give her.

Some sort of light therapy might also be a good idea, or even aromatherapy. Lavender and Chamomile are supposed to be calming herbs that you can use in a diffuser, a spray mist, or even stuff some dried herbs in a pillow!

Best wishes!

Mom is on nothing but vitamins. My daughter has said it is like she is in two worlds, but it is just not her time yet. She is healthy. She doesn't know exactly who I am, but she does trust me. I would say these episode happen about two time a month. It is almost like sleep walking and she gets upset. I just let her walk it off with her walker until she just goes and lays down.

1) How could this Dr. rule out a UTI without a urine sample let alone not actually examining her? You shouldn't accept non-care. You don't have time for it, and you both deserve better, professional treatment.
2) Love the advice to try different things to help her be more comfortable. Small nightlight, soft music like jazz/classical, a lovey/comforting item, does seem to help with some.
3) Hallucinations (visual and/or auditory) are consistent with Parkinson's especially, pain and disorientation/fear at night is common in general, and sun downing with Alzheimer's. So it's important to try to ascertain what it is and what relieves it before classifying it or disregarding it (not that you are at all, but hearing other people say it's "just the dementia" which may be true in their cases doesn't make it true in hers and doesn't mean nothing can be done). I'd say in my experience at caregiving for four elders (parents and grandparents) and from current experience in an SNF that some but not most dementia patients may have this kind of experience but still most of them can be at least partially alleviated with actions others have mentioned (light, pain relief, caring/calming, something comforting and orienting, low doses of anti-anxiety or anti-hallucinogens). Would help to know things like type of dementia (often don't know for sure, but some can usually be ruled in or out), onset (appeared suddenly - UTI more likely or weeks or months dementia or pain progression more likely). If you aren't aware, UTIs in elderly are nothing like what many experience in youth: they don't usually cause telltale localized pain when urinating but instead cause generalized pain and dementia-like symptoms. Anyone caring for an elder should familiarize themselves (online medscape or the mayo clinic website are good, trustworthy resources). If a patients' pain level or personality changes abruptly within a week, a UTI is tested. All questions her doctor should ask. Which gets to point one. This is a long path for you with a doctor unwilling to help or even examine her (unethical from what is described), and I fear you will both suffer for it physically and mentally. Someone who experiences this every night is not "fine." But you seem to know that, so kudos to you for caring and coming here for advice/help. I hope the info and all of our support does help.

Agree with Anita - first and foremost, get another doctor who requires urine sample to test for UTI. She shouldn't have a bad odor.

My mom was doing the exact same thing, and I found a uti. I took a urine specimen and took it to Dr and they confirmed it. No more crying.

My mom has had the noises at night also, but she is taking 3 meds for her dementia Aricept, trazodone, and neudexta that help with a lot of the delusions and anger she would have. She is cognitively stable at this point. It is very hard to see them go through this disease and being their caretaker its the unknown not knowing what else is going to happen. I just think that bothers me the most not knowing. Things are calm and then something else arises. I would say when things are not right and you are feeling unsettling with what is going on consult with their PCP to ease your mind and maybe your loved one may have a UTI. Hang In There, You Are Not Alone.......

Is your mother on Namenda for her dementia? My mother had similar reactions and it was found to be a side effect of that medication. She was taken off and a couple of days later the systems stopped. The next problem that developed was that her dementia and her behavior became worse rather quickly. Take her to a neurologist right away. It's a shame they have to suffer like this and it's so hard to watch. Good luck and God bless.

tlhanger, how mournful! Such a feeling of longing and abandonment for your mother. My mom is also longing for her mother who died when she was young, as well as for her dad. She is missing dad terribly now, and keeps asking if he's dead. Talks about how God has taken everybody away from her. Dad used to see and talk to dead relatives, too, for a couple of years before he died. It happens so often I think there must be something to it.

Most of the time mom sleeps very deep, but every now and then she has nights where she is talking to her mom, sister, or my dad. All who have passed. She will even get up and say, my mom is coming for me and look out at the blackness of the night and get distressed when her mom doesn't show up. Not good nights. Thank God it doesn't happen very often.

I'd ask her doctor about a low dose of Trazadone (.25) It's very effective at stopping nightmares. My doctor prescribed it for me years ago and it's still effective. I still dream just no terrorizing ones.

My MIL spent most of her last year with lung cancer at our house. She did not have dementia that we could see. For her last two months she could not sleep--We could hear her about 2am, saying over and over "God have mercy! I want to die!" Her doctor tried every me he had available, and nothing worked. Some of them immobilized her, but she would still lie there moaning. Her doctor told me that what she could face during the day and what she could face at 2am were two different things. She spent her last two weeks at another son's house on hospice; she had several daughters fairly close there and my SIL didn't work. As it turned out, the hospice nurse called her doctor (in my area) for stronger pain meds, and they called and asked me to go get the meds from the doctor (it was a narcotic that they couldn't do on the phone) and bring them, which I did. I volunteered to do the night shift while I was there, as I had had two weeks of quiet nights. She talked quite a lot during the night, seeing her mother and sister who had already passed away, and died peacefully about 6am.

My many years of nursing tell me that she may be experiencing pain. At the age of 95 most folks have arthritis. Do ask her if she is having pain,& then ask her to give it a number if possible between 1 to 10 (highest). Then ask her if she is thirsty. Sometimes the simplest things help. Sometimes they just need someone to see if they are alright.. Often a back rub , a soft pillow, or a change of position are all that is needed.

Is it possible for you to find a doctor that is more familiar with aging and dementia? I read that one of the earliest markers of Lewy Body dementia are sleep disorders. There have been some really good comments on this post but I think you can address only by trial and error. My mother died after a very long battle with (undiagnosed) Lewy Body dementia. The diagnosis came three days before she passed away. I have had a sleep disorder my entire life that has gone untreated. On the nights I have problems, I wake up sad and drained. Some nights, I awake laughing in my sleep and have a slightly better next day. Even though it seems abnormal, sleep disorders are common with dementia. Your doctor might be trying to say "this is normal" when he says "she is fine". The distinction between normal and fine needs to be made at some time.

My dad has dementia. We learned this shortly after my mom died a little over a year ago. He has been in a care facility about a month for rehab. He was hospitlalized for colitis. He has lost a lot of weight.
Before he got sick he was feeding himself, able to walk around, go for walks down the street and back. Aside from loosing my mom, his dog died recently, and we had to move him and sell his house and most of his belongings. The care has began to get overwelming. He needs full time care but the nursing facility is saying he is only at a stage 3. We (my brothers and sister) all have full time jobs and can not be ther 24/7. He only has medicare and was a veteran but not during war time. We can get home health but only part time. He has some money from the sell of his house, but that would run out within a couple months. Then what? How can a doctor make the decision on wether he needs full time care without living with him day in and day out. I am not saying this is what i want for him but he cant be left alone. And we have to work. Any suggestions. We dont make the money it cost for full time care.

Private1 ~ I don't understand how he could have avoided it through sellf neglect.