My sister and I live several hundred miles away, but a brother live 5 miles away. Mom has lived in the same neighborhood with many or the same neighbors for 60 years. She is physically healthy, does stairs, and takes frequent walks and still does light yard work. She get meals on wheels, and has a neighbor look in on her almost daily for about on hour. Her short term memory is poor. She has lived alone for 17 years. She gets herself out of bed, makes her bed daily, dresses and bathes herself, gets her meals together, washes her dishes after each meal, takes out the garbage, keeps her house clean and organized, but seldom does laundry, has no incontinence, fills pill box weekly and manages her meds by herself with some occasional supervision. She lives in a rural neighborhood.
Some neighbors and relatives says she needs to move to "assisted living" because it is not safe for her to be alone. I believe if she is removed, her mental and physical condition will deteriorate. Although she is lonesome, she is not a social or particularly outgoing person and does not engage new people or old friends, though she is pleasant to all. Despite encouragement to do so, she seldom will turn on the TV or radio to combat loneliness. Her cognitive decline is evidenced by her inability to follow a TV story or read a novel or follow any process through progressive steps to complete a task, eg. following a recipe, prepare a letter/card and mail it. Her doctor suggests more supervision would be beneficial. Her children agree.
I am pursuing having a non-skilled home health aide come into the home for 4 hours per day - mostly for our peace of mind. I do not know what to require of this person , except to be a companion who can help her make sound decisions in everyday life. Mother is strongly opposed to this. And others say she must be taken out of the home - this alternative makes the 4 hour companion more suitable to her!
I am seeking criteria or some assessment that supports my desire to keep her in her home - or criteria that supports when the decision for her to leave her home is best for her.