How do I start? My brother and I can't leave home until we ensure my mom will be taken care of first. We want to eventually put her in assisted living or a rest home but she's being resistant to the idea because she wants to age in place.
You state mom has dementia. At some point...probably about now...Mom does not get much say in some matters. When it comes to safety that is where I drew the line. With dementia it probably is no longer safe for her to be home alone. the fact that you and your brother have put your lives on "hold" because you are waiting for the bottom to drop out of the bucket says a lot. Next time mom goes to the doctor ask the doctor if mom is safe living alone. Or does she need 24/7 care. When I say "care" I do not necessarily mean "hands on" care it could be help with any number of things. What are you and your brother doing to make it possible for her to remain at home? What would happen to her if both you and your brother were injured at the same time and could not see her for a week, 2 weeks or longer? If she could not manage then she is not as "independent" as she thinks she is.
What is your and your brother's plan to support yourselves?
Where will you live?
This is why the "contingency plan" needs to be for YOU, not mom.
Why did your neighbor come over?
Where is Cathy in all of this? What is she doing, since you said she is helping to teach you and your brother to live independently.
Cathy IS helping us slowly become independant
Who pays the bills?
Who shops for food?
Who cooks?
Who does the home repairs?
2. Me and my brother
3. My brother but sometimes I help
4. The pastor Leon and his wife Joyce
At some point...probably about now...Mom does not get much say in some matters. When it comes to safety that is where I drew the line.
With dementia it probably is no longer safe for her to be home alone. the fact that you and your brother have put your lives on "hold" because you are waiting for the bottom to drop out of the bucket says a lot.
Next time mom goes to the doctor ask the doctor if mom is safe living alone. Or does she need 24/7 care. When I say "care" I do not necessarily mean "hands on" care it could be help with any number of things.
What are you and your brother doing to make it possible for her to remain at home? What would happen to her if both you and your brother were injured at the same time and could not see her for a week, 2 weeks or longer? If she could not manage then she is not as "independent" as she thinks she is.
She is now in a rest home and Cathy is working on moving us out of this house into apartment which will allow us to become independant!
From there I can springboard off of living with my brother to getting a job and eventually finding true love and getting married