Crazy extended family, what is our legal recourse?

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My Mom, with ALZ, lives in an assisted living facility in VA. She is insisting she wants to move back to New England. Far away from her 3 children and 7 grandkids. I wouldn’t put much stock in her plans if her sister in New England weren’t helping her with this “move”. They think her ALZ is “senior moments”. They think she can live alone in an apartment. Their “plan”’is to come visit and then TAKE her back with them!? My siblings are her POA’s both medical and financial.


All these Aunts have done is vilify my siblings and I .



What is our legal recourse?

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Lolo, if she hasn't been declared incompetent, you don't really have the ability to keep her from leaving with her sisters. Would she be found incompetent in a guardianship hearing?

Ask her sisters to spend a couple of hours with her in the AL.  Have her help them with packing. I suspect they will see the truth.
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If your mother is diagnosed with ALZ, and your sisters are medical and financial POA.. can they just tell the sister this is not a good or safe notion, and no money will be forthcoming for this move, as it will be needed in the future for her care? Can you show them the diagnosis from her Dr? MAybe after they visit her for a few days and see what care she needs.. they will change their minds
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Sunnygirl11- she isn’t in memory care. So no security that way.
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I would consult with an Elder Law attorney in VA where your mom is residing for options. I'd inquire about preventative remedies, because, what is to stop your mom from walking out the door with her sister if she comes to visit? The AL generally are not allowed to prevent the voluntary movement of residents. Is she in a Secure Memory Care and is there a doctor
's order that she reside in the MC unit? 

I might explore Guardianship, because then, the Guardian has say so over where the Ward resides. Not sure if there are grounds for that, but, I would explore it before the siblings attempt to remove her or take her out of state, which could be an even bigger headache.
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What does the AL social worker have to say about this? Are they willing to let your mom go with someone who shows up, claiming to be able to care for her?

And if they take her back home, is there harm done? You resign your POAs.
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LoLo, when it comes to your Mom's sister, maybe you can stall her with a "therapeutic fib" saying that your Mom is paid up until the end of year, and that Mom would lose all that money if she should move. That might stall the move.

Even if your Mom's sister was able to slip your Mom away, I bet within hours of being in the car or waiting at the airport for a flight north, your Mom's sister would finally realize that there is a major problem.
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I honestly think they are planning on just taking her back to New England.
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Dear LoLo1169,

I am so sorry to hear about your mom's plans and the stress it is causing. Please know because your siblings have POA, it won't be easy for your aunt to take this action. I would talk to elder law attorney if you would like know all your legal options.

I know people mean well, but don't take what they say to heart. It is not worth it. Just let them yammer all they want, because you and your siblings know the truth. Tell your aunt as bluntly as possible that their words are not helping. And if you have to just block them for a bit, just to get some peace.
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