Can we get a court order and make mom come with us or have her placed in a nursing home?

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Caring long distance for my 86 year old mother has become very challenging as she has aged and I need to know what rights a child has. She had to borrow a walker for her last appointment. We have been begging her to move in with us or at least near us for years but she refuses. It has come to a point where we will have to take more drastic steps for her own protection. She has macular degeneration so her eyesight is extremely poor. She has congestive heart failure and misses many of her appointments. She is tired and exhausted all of the time. Though she does occasionally get confused she does have her mind but has difficulty doing her bills and remembering if she has taken her medicine. What can we do ? Can we get a court order and make her come with us or have her placed in a nursing home ? She recently has been put on oxygen and I am afraid she will not remember how to use it !!!

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We have tried that approach for years. Now she is not even helping herself. Refusing to have the water removed. She is just waiting to die. She will tell us he is going to get it taken out but never goes to have it removed.
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Jeannegibbs, that was a WONDERFUL way to handle that! Thank you!
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I know from personal experience that a parent needs to feel as though they are NOT giving up any of their freedom, they are NOT a burden that needs to be taken care of, and that they ARE helping in some way. If she feels as though she is being forced, you will pay dearly for those emotions, both physically and emotional, on all of you. Try approaching it similarly to jeannegibbs post. I believe you will have a much more positive outcome.
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Do you have DPOA and Medical Proxy? Has a doctor declared that she shouldn't live alone? Does she have any in-home help now? Who cleans her house and makes her meals?

We thought we had our 92 yo mother talked into moving in with one daughter and son-in-law, but at the last minute she balked. Another sister saved the day by taking her aside and saying "Since Sis retired she is having a hard time making the mortgage payment. She needs to rent out the lower level. Here first choice would be to rent it to you. Could you help her out?" (All lies, by the way.) Put that way, Mother was willing to "help out." LoL

Since she has been there (2 months) and taking her medications regularly under supervision her health as improved! She still has dementia, of course, but the visiting nurse can now come one a month instead of weekly.

So I understand your concern about Mom living alone. Obviously it would ideal if she can be convinced to agree to a move.
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