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I have gone to court for guardianship of my mother. She got mad at me for being in her house and taking care of her in May of this year when our dementia journey began. She was baker act (Florida law when you act up) twice and then I was asked to leave the house after being there a month and losing my full and part time jobs. The times my mom acted upset with me were mainly before meds. She has been fine on the phone for the past month plus not being upset with me and has told me on the phone she want to come be with me. I was cleared of elder abuse, which she got a bruise when I went to protect myself against her in the first four days of find out her had dementia. I was cleared of any wrongdoing finically since I was with her when she took out 1,000 at the bank. She did take thousands out when I was not there for 4 months before May, which looks like 30, or 40 thousand dollars and no one looked into who took that money. I was cleared of that too. The court after three months gave the permanent guardianship to South Florida Guardianship Program over me her daughter (I am 49). They say she can determine where she wants to live and to vote. Crazy she does not even know who is running in the election. She has written down on paper three different pieces that she want to come live with me, I took from her house two days ago the day after court when I picked her up for lunch before I left town. I wonder if I should appeal and keep fighting for my belief of my mother and having her near me. If I don't I continue to lose the time I could have with her since she is two years into the dementia and I am now in North Carolina 16 hours away and cannot just go visit. My job gives me at the most two days off at a time. I am also living with my sister and helping her since she has health problems, which I am able to be here and do whatever I can for her. Has anyone ever underwent such nonsense of the court system to give to a non-profit over a child?

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I had a lawyer who had processed guardianship but was a land lawyer. My mistake. I had a full time and part time jobs and lost them taking care of my mother. I had called for help last year which lead me to the state case worker who came out to my moms house telling me she was fine.
In May she did not want me or anyone in her house with her. She was not on meds at the time and was angry part of the time. Because she thougth it would get me out of the house and she would be on her own again she told everyone we did not get along and she wanted me out.
The court only went my the way May was and not the before or after times we have had. My mom was not able to go to court when she was on meds and was thinking clearer to tell them she wanted to go live with me.
The live in in her house now leaves her to go to walk by herself as she chats on the phone leaving my mother in the house unattended. If she walked out and got lost then where would the SFGP be. The livein says she get 2 hours a day to have to her own. Ok where is my mom and who is watching her. I was told by doctors that she needs 24 hour care. Nothing has been right in this whole thing.
Living in another state has been hard to be able to handle all of the mess. My mom had nothing done will was not finished or POA. She has always been independent.
I am thankful for the answers.
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Passion - I have not been a guardian but have been executrix twice and spend more hours in probate court that you can imagine and probate is where guardianship's are heard, this is what I've surmised:
- if you are a resident of another state, you are at huge butt disadvantage in being named guardian. The court has a list of attorney's or guardians they can appoint who are vetted for the state or county and that is who will be named rather than someone who lives in another state and out of their jurisdiction and likely cannot easily meet the courts reporting requirements.
- if you were DPOA or MPOA and things have shown you have not excised your duty - like if large sums of $ are MIA or used questionably - then the court is not likley to name you (the DPOA) as guardian as you have not used your power to prevent things from happening.
- if you have any issues that could be their own set of problems, like you do not have a provable source of income, have significant leins or judgements against you or any felony record even if it was a long time ago or your spouse does
- the judge feels that you will not be able to do the required reporting - this is pretty subjective but if you cannot show you filed taxes, have been able to maintain a job or business or have not shown up for prior court hearings, then you don't look like someone who manage the responsibility of guardianship.
- you do not have a "Guardian in Case of Incapacity" done. I don't know if all states recognize this, but it is very important to have as it establishes who is to be the guardian and trumps the court in naming someone else as it shows the persons intentions from when they are competent and cognitive. I live another state and my mom is in TX, her attorney had us do this in addition to me as the POA's. Her attorney does this as routine for all elderly because they so often in a pique of stubborness or of dementia will remove the old POA and you are stuck.
- other family or neighbors have questioned your suitability and they have appeared in court and stated that.

If you want guardianship, you need to get an attorney with a practice in the county where mom lives to represent you. One easy way to find one is to go to the county on-line services for the court, then scroll to where you can get copies of legal documents. All this should be public information and available as a download for a nominal fee. What you want to do is look for about a dz of guardianship cases and look to see who's name shows up most often as the attorney. (You just look at them you don't need to buy them, you are looking for the descriptive on the case which will have the law firms name on the document). The same law firms are going to show up and that is who you want to represent you as they know how to best approach the situation for each judge and make it work smoothly for you. This is not the time to get a friends son who does general law to represent you, really, you need someone who knows the nuances of the court and especially of the judge. Guardianship are not a DIY project. Good luck.
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She slapped me only once before the meds. She was mad wanting no one to take care of her. That was May and it never happened again. Thanks for peace and hugs.
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Passion, sweetheart I am so sorry she hit you:) That is very difficult. I am aware of Robbins, have some of his materials and enjoy his passion:) If there was physical abuse, I am glad they separated you. Please take care of yourself. Are in touch with other agencies and resources about the rest? Peace and Hugs!!
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Passionforlife comes from Anthony Robins who my mom sent me to 15 years ago. I was asked to leave since she hit me and wanted me out of the house because she didn't want anyone in the house taking care of her. She was diganosed with dementia and put on meds she has raised her hands up at the aides I saw her but never hit them. Of course no other witness. She has not been with me since. I do have a home in Georgia so they were hoping I would go back there so they could take over which they did and I am treated like a stranger not the daugher who loves hers mom. I can and do send cards and small gifts. If she was near I could go see her every week and spend time I will never get again. I have asked the guradianship for a lap top something so my mom can chat with me visual like we did last year. She has money that is what is wrong they want to spent it on their paycheck and not for her future. I want her to have a quality of life she deserves for the money is hers and she earned it. She should be taken care of properly not by a aid or live-in who just watches tv and does not truly care for her. That is what upsets me with the people who they have caring for her.
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I have not gone through this personally no. So sorry to hear of your troubles I can imagine this must have been very difficult to go through. I don't understand however why you were asked to leave the house if you had lost your source of income. You were there, at least partially or even completely - to help her and yet you were asked to leave. I'm not saying I have all the answers and I haven't been through this exact situation, but this doesn't sit right with me, Passion (great user name by the way AWESOME!) My own situation being a part-time caretaker for my elderly father has also had severe economic consequences for me and it has taken it's toll on my health. I too, have lost a source of income - not once, but several times. Every time I regroup, find another job and keep going, he gets sicker or there is a health crisis with him again and then the resulting stress has me floundering once more. In a way, I wish I had put my own needs first and stuck to it. The court may have ruled that so as to protect you. Sad, but these situations are difficult, as we know. It will be interesting to see if anyone else can gone through this. Good luck and I hope you find resources to help you. Knowing what I know now, if I were in your shoes I would not appeal and would thank God every day for my life, a good job, a sister and would leave it at that. I am assuming you can write to your mother or send her cards, small gifts? I know it is never the same as a visit but there are other ways to connect with her from a distance. This may be healthier in the long run, although again I too wonder if anyone has experience with this specific thing. However, whatever you choose to do remember we are here. This site is very helpful.
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