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I live with my mom. The last four mornings she has accused me of having a man spend the night with me which is not true. I am a widow and haven’t even dated since I lost my husband. She calls me a liar and says she can hear him talking to me and none of this is true. She confronts me first thing in the morning and is making me late to work, not to mention that I cry all the way to work. There is no reasoning with her and I won’t admit to something that I haven’t done. She is mean, angry, full of hate and very combative. Later she’ll be fine and act like nothing ever happened. How do I handle this? I get no help from my brother or sister. I do everything for her. Any advice would be appreciated.

If a sudden change get her checked for a UTI. That is often the cause of sudden changes. Do not argue or explain with dementia, they are unable to reason or make sense of things, especially when stressed. REDIRECT.

You need to develop a thicker skin and to know this is the disease talking. It will not help you to take things personally. Therapeutic white lies are one of the best and most effective tools you will learn to use on this journey.
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Reply to gladimhere
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getting worse?
it may get worse fast. or it could take years. over time it gets worse. YES
my mom started with memory issues around 2010(?) now her short term memory is about 1 minute or less.

but her memory loss isn't the only thing worrisome.

its the confusion, bad judgment, not washing her hair, not comprehending. ETC. etc..... oh and seeing things and hearing things...

when was the last time she saw her doctor? maybe get a referral to a geriatric doc.
maybe research placing her in a facility, this is not cruel - it may be a life saver for yourself.(and her)
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Reply to wally003
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Do not confront or argue with your Mom. Someone with Dementia can not reason like a normal person can and you will never be able to convince your Mom that what she is saying is false.

I tried that and all it did was result in Mom and me getting into an argument. Just say, "Maybe it was the TV that you heard. I have to go to work. Bye." and GO OUT THE DOOR! Do not be LATE for work because of what your Mom is saying.

People with dementia will have mood swings and behavior swings and be nice to you one minute and mean/angry to you the next minute. I would have wonderful positive visits with my Mom in the nursing home and as I would leave her room she would suddenly get extremely angry and yell nasty things at me. Or she would cry after I left. Mom often would cry after I called her on the phone even though we had a positive conversation. The nursing staff is great and they are able to redirect my Mom after my visits or after my phone calls.
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Reply to DeeAnna
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