I signed up to this forum because of my grandma, we all thought she had Alzheimer's disease and she doesn't, the years she spent neglecting her diabetes and high blood pressure caused small strokes on her brain and those strokes are the cause of her loss of memory and cognitive function, this was what the doctor explained to us after examining her brain scan. Now I'm here because of my mother, I don't know if I'm seeing things where they don't exist, maybe I'm too paranoid, in fact I suffer from mental illness and paranoia is a part of my daily life, anxiety too but I've been noticing that my mother seems confused lately. She's my grandma's caregiver, she works a lot even after a major heart attack and she still has to deal with my illness, her life is really stressful and that could be the cause but my anxiety won't stop bothering me with this, I'm so afraid to lose my mother, she's the only person I have. I have been noticing that sometimes she forgets words while speaking, it's not that bad, she remembers them shortly after and goes on speaking, she has forgotten to pay a bill or two but remembered she had to pay it on the next day, sometimes she also makes some silly jokes that seem out of character, apart from this there's nothing else I can point. She's a very active person, she works a lot and she loves to work but my grandma's condition is being really hard to handle specially for her, her days are really stressful. My question is, could this be related to stress?? I don't want to force her to go to the doctor just because of my paranoia, maybe I'm the one who is seeing things where they don't exist, I analyze everything she does to the smallest details and if I find something different I get paranoid... I'm just too scared of losing her... What can I do to improve my mother's memory and try to make her relax a little?? The doctor said that my grandmother's dementia could have been prevented if she had taken better care of herself and of her memory, she never did, I want to do for my mother what I didn't do for my grandma.
Do the best you can to help your mom reduce her stress levels - make sure she gets some exercise, gets out to do some fun stuff (away from your grandmother), gets enough sleep and gets help to care for your grandmother if she needs it. Anyone can be forgetful if they're living with day in and day out stress. And Hannah, you need to do the things I listed above for yourself too. If you have enough good things in your life and you take good care of your physical health, your fear and paranoia will decrease too. Good luck and keep us posted.
On the other hand, the heart attack could signal vascular issues for your mom as well as being a signal of severe stress. And, there are some other very treatable medical causes of cognitive problems in the relatively young, such as B12 deficiency, alcohol overuse which sometimes causes thiamine deficiency, some medications, thyroid troubles, etc. Good vascular health is something they should be helping her with too. Now, one of the ways they do that is with statins, which MOST people tolerate well, but SOME people have cognitive side effects on them. Because the statins are so good for prevention of strokes and heart attacks, there are not many studies on what should be done for people who don't tolerate them but are high risk. I am in that boat myself. I'm doing the best I can to watch my diet, weight and fitness instead of medication and hoping that wil be enough. (Hey, you are not being paranoid if they really ARE out to get you, right?)
It sounds like if you and mom could give each other time out to get good medical care and good self-care, it would be a real gift, for sure.
But even though it is very unlikely your mother doesn't have dementia, it is important that she take good care of herself. Reducing the stress would be an important first step. Physical exercise is good, especially if it is something she enjoys. Maybe biking or swimming or just peaceful walks. Getting away from Gramma (sometimes with you and sometimes alone) regularly is important. Getting enough sleep is critical. These are all things that are hard to do when you are caregiving. If there are any ways you can encourage these things (without nagging!) that would be helpful.
Taking care of yourself is probably the best thing you can do for your mother and for your grandmother. You need regular exercise, enough sleep, to be consist with your medicines, to eat well, to keep your own medical appointments, etc.
You sound like a very perceptive person. I think you have a lot to contribute in your household. Good luck to you!
Does she get enough sleep? How's her diet? Is it low in fat, with lots of green leafy vegetables or is she grabbing a quick fast food burger, eating things out of cans or microwaving frozen dinners? Does she get enough exercise? If she drinks alcohol, is she drinking more than usual? You say she's active, but there's a difference between working, running errands, taking care of you and grandma and going for a bike ride or taking a yoga class. Your mom could probably benefit from yoga, or taking a class in watercolor painting, something relaxing that she enjoys.
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