Have y'all found it more or less costly to care for your loved one in your homes or in a facility?

Cost is relative. Do you money or the physical/mental cost? Both are easy to answer. Cost of money if you are using yours or your loved one and not the government? It will cost you more to use a facility unless you have to give up your high-paying job. But the physical/mental cost is beyond explanation even if you want to care for your loved ones at home. Mentally/physically may be easier when they are in a very good facility, not so much if the facility is poor.
In other words, a no-win situation!

Let's begin with the definition of cost. If you mean dollars, create a spreadsheet. You can get the monthly cost (make sure you include additional (hidden) fees like escort services, dressing, showers, etc as they definitely will be added in at some point). Don't forget other daily care stuff as well.

When you consider the financial cost of keeping a loved one at home, don't forget that YOU will need a break, so make sure you discuss this with other siblings (if you have them), or include provision for a hired caregiver for some or a portion of your time.

Emotional cost.... Having experienced caring for my Mom at home and at an ALF, I say it is LESS of an emotional cost at a facility. But then you miss out on seeing your parent as easily or often as you would if they were in your own home.

Also, make sure you do due diligence and REALLY check out online reviews, your local ombudsman, current client reviews and DEFINITELY remain a strong advocate for your loved one if you place them into a facility.

Blessings of wisdom to you.