The cost of caring for my elderly father is getting out of control. Any advice?

Kmi, your post reads as though you don’t know a lot about ‘the system’, including the normal rules for Assisted Living, Nursing Home level care, Medicaid and Medicare. This may explain why the AL is charging you for 12 hours a day personal care – it shouldn’t happen. Perhaps you last looked at options while Father was under 65, or any local age level to apply for most of these things, and more may be possible now (or when he turns 70).

You can get a lot of help from the site. Click on Care Topics at the top of the screen, then use the alphabetic list: A for Assisted Living, NH for Nursing Home, M for Medicaid and Medicare, H for Hospice, anything else that helps. You will find expert articles, then lots of old threads from people who have been through this themselves. You can also use the ‘magnifying glass’ symbol to search other threads that refer to the topic in passing. It’s an easy way to learn some of the basics of care options quickly and easily.

Apply for Medicade. You may have to spend down and or liquidate excess personal property. Aid and attendance is available if veteran.

My mother has severe dementia, and she broke her knee while in a memory care facility. Mom had to have 24 hour additional care due to her injury for months. I moved her to a private care home and now have a personal caregiver with her during the "busy" hours. Mom is often agitated and doesn't understand she can't be independent. So, she does need the additional care. She has someone that has eyes on her all day long. There are usually 2 caregivers within the home during the day, with mom's caregiver there from 1:00-9:00pm. This has been the best arrangement I have found. They have cameras in their rooms, which they can watch at any time. There are a total of 5 residents. Private home cost is considerably less than MC or AL. This level of care was suggested to me as an alternative to skilled nursing. This type of arrangement might be worth investigating. Eventually, Mom's money will run out and I will go the Medicaid route at that time.