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Thats still very hard for me! She gets windows and I want it to last but it fades.

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When my mom and I went to visit my cousin (who has advanced dementia in Memory Care) on her birthday last month, at first she didn't recognize my mom. (She is 11 years YOUNGER than my mom.) She was sitting in the hall and waved hi to her as if she was just another visitor. Only after I approached her and she saw that mom was with me, that she realized who she was. It's very strange. I know that eventually when I walk in there she will not know me. I can't imagine how it would be if she were my mother, father or spouse. That would be even more painful.
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I remember when caring for my aunt who one moment would ask my uncle if he was her father, then shortly yell at him for smoking his pipe in the cellar. She once asked the hospice nurse if it was true that when you got very very old you turned into a bunny. (!). We shortly realized that she was confusing the story of the Velveteen Rabbit. It was sad but at the same time I tried to tell myself what a laugh she would have gotten were we able to re tell her the story. "Oh my soul and body! Did I really say that?"
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Thank you all so much for your wonderful encouragement as a result of a fall my mother had 4days ago she is in her final journey as we speak.We are keeping her pain free and loving her and being by her side until god is ready for her.Its in his hands now.I and my sisters have been with her on this journey for 18 yrs but the last 3yrs the most difficult for us.As I sit here with my beautiful mother it doesn't matter that the last 3yrs she didn't know us what matters now is we loved every part of her and embraced every stage and knew we were lucky we still had our mother.We still knew her and never did we leave or forget her!So to all who walk in my shoes its not a easy road But I wouldn't of traded any of the good times I have had with my mother my best friend god bless you all.
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It is very difficult. With dementia, the grieving process begins long before they are gone. Allow yourself to grieve your loss. My mother is very angry with my younger brother, adult Jack, because she thinks he has convinced her young son, teenage Jack to stay with him and his wife. Worse than not being recognized! I'm sorry for your loss and wish you many happy windows, no matter how brief.
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My mom doesn't recognize me anymore either, as a matter of fact for the longest time she thought I was her sister (she had me when she was 42). I just try to not let it bother me and try to focus on just making sure she is happy, no matter who I am that day : ) When I ask her how many kids she has she always tells me she doesn't know, dementia is rough on everybody : (
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I was partially raised by my grandparents and when Grandpa got up around 90, he didn't recognize me anymore. He thought I was his older brother who had passed away about 20 years before that. I didn't argue with him. If it comforted him, who was I to stress him out?
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You question touched my heart. I have never been in this situation but I feel for you. Please know that her brain is broken and like Humpty Dumpty, it can't be put back together again. She may not know you as her child all the time, but she can know you as someone who loves her, has her best interest at heart and she is safe with. We so want a person with dementia to come to where we are but it doesn't work that way. We have to be willing to go where they are. If that means 40 years ago, so be it. Know that your mother is in there somewhere and when her window happens to open, cherish that. God bless you in your journey. You can do this.
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