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My husband is 62 years old and has dementia/alz, his heart stopped 10 years ago this February 5th. He suffered a brain injury that resulted in the dementia. I don't treat him any differently but I am all given out from being his caregiver. He refuses to allow any help in the home and thinks that there's nothing really wrong with him. I'm the only caregiver because our children are grown and gone. He has a sister that helped in the past when I had to travel for work but she now has a disabled son and can't help me any more. His mother lives in Dlelware and is elderly and can't travel or lend a hand. I'm trying to hang on but I don't see any end in sight.
Any help will be greatly appreciated.

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There will be a point where you WILL need to have help in the household, if not already. You already sound burnt out. Maybe you can discuss that with your husband's doctor and if the doctor tells hubby you need to hire help, then maybe hubby will understand. Sometimes what the doctor says is golden.

Regarding your hubby's need for sex, go to the top right corner of this screen and you will see "Search Site"... type in sex... it will take you to articles and questions/answers by others who write on the forums. It seems strange how Alzheimer's/Dementia can cause this sometimes uncontrollable urge in males.
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Perhaps in your relationship before your husband called the household shots. Or maybe you had a very egalitarian partnership. But now it is absolutely up to you to decide when/how much help you need. The changing roles are one of the most challenging aspects of a spouse with dementia. Many things that used to be "his" decision or "our" decision now must be your decision.

If you haven't already got household help, such as cleaning and laundry and if you are not already getting cooking help via frozen dinners and restaurant take out, I suggest you start there. You'll be better able to cope with the tasks for your husband if somebody takes scrubbing the toilets out of your hands.

As for sex, I have nothing to offer but commiseration. Do mention his increased libido to his doctor. I told my counselor once that I was sad that our sex life was over. She suggested seeing sex counselors at the University, who could help us get things working again. I was aghast! "You certainly misunderstood me. I love my husband as much as I ever have, but it would be like having sex with a six-year-old, or with my grandfather."

My heart goes out to both of you.
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Saltpeter. Lots of it. Or whatever they Rx to kill the urge these days. Call his MD and report the overdrive. There are effective meds available.
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I want to say a heartfelt thank you for all of your responses. Your answers are very insightful and helpful. Keep the answers coming! Again thanks so much!
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