Being torn between guilt, disappointment and my need not to be manipulated, hurt and confused is awful. My mother never yelled at me or was abusive. Just critical, controlling and not interested. The indifference was the worst. I felt I didn't exist. And now that she is 81 and frail, she expects "closeness", attention and care. When I try to get closer sooner or later she hurts me emotionally with some random remark.