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It's so hard to know I can't solve all his problems in rehab. Clothes too big or too tight. I keep trying. Lack of sleep. First snoring roommate.. that fixed. Two days later bed is too sensitive beeps every time he moves. Very few beds that don't beep. May not have kne to give him. Finding rides to and from rehab every other day.

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The clothes are easy get drawstring. lounge pants.
The bed . alarm sensitivty has to be adjusted.usually by maintenance. Or somerimes chg nurse. When bed property adjusted if he is moved to another room make them take bed with him.
Transportation, if it is to stressful drop a day and converse on the phone. Snoring roommate all that if he can communicate well enough let him handle that. Just tell him he has to voice his concerns with soc serv and the staff. Part of him getting better is autonomity, self suffuciency and independence.
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My dad complained incessantly when he moved in with my sister and we jumped every time he complained about something, right down to out of the movies we took him to, when he didn't like a film we did. This went on for a long time, until I felt enough was just enough as we were exhausted. I sat him down and told him very firmly that it must stop, because we have tried and are still trying, and if it no longer pleases him, well then so be it. The complaints stopped!
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Sounds like he is saying "I don't want to be in the rehab place". This fussiness might discontinue once he returns home. My Dad did this all the time to his wife. She moved him every three months so that I had a hard time finding him sometimes. He hated being there. Even offered to sign over the cash value in his life insurance policy if she would take him home. One time he just put on his shoes and walked out of the place. They caught him and pumped him so full of "happy juice" that he had stroke symptoms and nearly died. Anyway your husband may be calmer once you bring him home. If he isn't then remind him "I am not your servant". and just do what you can, and when you can't get out of the house to take a break.
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Thank you for that clarification, Jinx4740.
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For the emotional side of things, JesseBelle nailed it. He's not happy and he's not going to be happy.

The one thing you can do is to give him tons of sympathy and understanding. Express regret that his bed problems can't be solved yet. Tell him you see how bad he feels because he isn't getting enough sleep. Acknowledge that his life SUCKS bigtime right now. Do not suggest that he has ANYTHING to be grateful for.

You will continue to strive to solve his problems, but ease up on yourself a lot. What he needs is someone to witness his misery and remind him that he is not alone and forgotten. If he can see and receive your compassion, then you are a success, at least in that area.
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"Kne" is a typo for "any."
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Does your therapist prescribe your medications? If not visit the psychiatrist who does. If you feel the way you do they clearly are not working. Get yourself sorted out before hubby comes home.
Has hubby's size changed? If not take in clothes that he usually wears.
Hospitals love to label people as fall risks. One hospital I was in only allowed me to wear a yellow gown as that signified "fall risk" that and a bright orange extra wrist band. I also suffered the bed and chair alarm but it can have a good side. if the call bell isn't answered promptly just get out of bed and they come running. They can actually turn them off so they don't have to change the bed.
In your husband's case I would be hesitant to turn off the alarm as he is already disabled and you don't want to be coping with a broken hip.
Don't be in too much hurry to bring hubby home make the most of your currently leisure time to relax and do some things that give you joy.
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Yes, what is a "kne?"
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Hadnuff: You have posted several threads on the same topic. Please just post one so that we here may assist you better.
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I forgot. He can't stand tight or uncomfortable clothing.
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No he doesn't complain a lot. But he is sensative to smells, sounds.
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If your husband had a stoke then he will always be considered a fall risk. The problem is that insurance will not pay for any injury related to falls in the facility which will have to eat the extra costs, hence the bed alarm to keep him safe. Do i assume that your husband is obese and OT PT are requesting loose clothes? I recommend that you find his current size in his waistbands and only purchase 1 or2 items. As for his sleep, remember he is less active and he cannot exhaust himself. His stroke may have altared his cognitive skills and or his ability to sleep. I take it that he can communicate his dissatisftion with his roomat by himself. Let him ask about it. He may also have sleep apnea which left untreated increases stroke to 40%.
I find that the rehab is stressful to family as I experienced family members going through this 5 times. In this situation, you will find that you can never do eough. This his his problem for the rest of his life. Allow him the chance to do as much as he can on his own. Take care of yourself first, then help his requests reasonbly.Keep seeking help for yourself.
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Does your husband have cognitive decline? Can you check his jogging pants to make sure they are too tight? Most have elastic and I would think they stretch quite a bit. Unless, it's really major, I would try to comfort him with saying like, "It will do for now."

Everything doesn't have to be perfect. Has he always been a complainer? If not, then I might be more concerned, but if he's coming up with multiple complaints everyday, I'd set priorities and let the unimportant stuff go. But, if you are already anxious and a worrier, that will likely not be easy for you. If your doctor says your pills are working, I'd challenge her if I was overwhelmed with anxiety and worry.
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change is not easy....but in time he will adapt! just work on the problems you can fix and forget about all the complaining...he will stop eventually, and if not...maybe he is just a complainer. has he always been like that?
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ferris1...I think she is talking about the Bed Alarms that alert staff when a person is trying to get up from a bed or a chair. They beep when the pressure changes. I think they could adjust the sensitivity on the alarm so it would not go off so easily.
The chair alarms are attached to the chair and to the person so if the "tag" or "key" comes out of the unit it beeps. The bed alarms are just pads that are on the bed and they are just pressure only.
As to what "kne" is I think it is a typo and should be "one"
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What the heck is "kne"? I have never heard of a bed beeping. Why would you have a bed that beeps? As far as coping - you have to remember, you cannot solve all the mysteries of illness and what comes with it. Give yourself a break. You have to find the time to sleep because if you do not, you will need rehab yourself. I don't know all your history, but I've just moved with a 90 yr. old late stage husband with memory impairment, and did all the packing, putting in the PODS, arranging for a caretaker of our home in AZ, put it up for sale, and found an apt. sight unseen and moved in 9/1/16 intact. I might add I've had wrist surgery on my dominant right wrist which keeps getting reinjured from all the work I have yet to do, and husband grabbing it to keep from falling...I went to the ocean yesterday and met a female hand therapist who just came up to me to warn of the strong currents and I told her I just wanted to get my wrist into the salt water to help heal it. Our conversation ended with her telling me of a hand surgeon nearby and a hand therapist I could see. Was that destiny or what that the one person with whom I talk to would know exactly what I needed. The point I'm trying to make is, take the opportunity to recognize events in your life which will help you and then you can help your partner. It also helps to have a strong faith that will sustain you in difficult times. Hang in there! Life is a journey, it is not a race, but to be enjoyed. Best wishes!
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He is way less of a fall risk now. He had a stroke. He can walk pretty good. But his left arm, hand, and fingers were paralyzed. He can raise his left arm now. But hand and fingers don't hardly work yet. Yes. I can talk on phone. Just so many frustrations here at rehab. Can't wait to get him home. There will be less frustrations.
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It sounds like you are expecting your husband to return home. And yet, your husband sounds like a fall risk. Does your husband understand that he is a fall risk? What is your husband in rehab for and what is the prognosis?

I'm assuming he needs clean clothes for his rehab sessions. Go to the thrift store and buy cheap but clean clothes. Get him a few different sizes. One is bound to fit.

If it's too difficult for you to visit because you need to get a ride back and forth, cut down on the number of visits. Does he have a cell phone with him? Can you talk to him over the phone?
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Yes, I went to the therapist. She said my pills are still working. And to read my book on why my brain is anxious. And to work on being mindfull.
The problems at rehab. Husband isn't getting the sleep he needs. Its so frustrating. His second day he got a roommate who snored loudly. Two days later they find a new room for him. He gets more sleep for a night then complains the bed beeps every time he moves around. It is designed to let nurse know if hes is trying to get out of bed. Very few beds made different so wont beep. They would see if ciuld get one. Didn't get one. I come back two days later. New roommate. His wife is very hard of hearing and calls every few hours. He almost shouts so she can hear. She is older and doesn't like being alone. At night he curses. He does I've heard him. They said they would try to find him a third room or get him earplugs. This is biggest problem. Then he say his own clothes are too tight. But I buy new stuff not knowing proper size and its too big. I get joging pants. He says waist band is too tight. A lot of frustration.
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I'm not sure I understand exactly what you're saying. It sounds like it may be like what I go through with my mother. She doesn't like something and wants a new one. We get a new one. She doesn't like it and wants the old one back. She liked that one. She doesn't like what I fix for dinner. She doesn't like certain restaurants anymore. It can go on and on. What she is probably saying is that she doesn't like the way her life is. All the things around her take the blame for what the real problem that is inside of her.

What I do is try to ignore it the best I can. The bad thing is she has now limited herself to about two foods and one restaurant with her growing list of dislikes. (Yes, it drives me crazy, but I try not to let it be MY problem. I do the best I can.)
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I seem to remember reading that you have anxiety issues, have you taken the time to see your therapist and look after yourself? Remember the saying, "put on your own oxygen mask first"!
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