My 80 yr old dad lives 3 hrs away and I have been running back and forth for two years now helping him. I broached the subject of his selling there and moving into my house with me but he simply refuses even though me moving there will over burden my daughter financially due to child care costs for the care of my learning disabled grandson for whom I am sole caregiver while she works, and also force my of age son who hasn't the salary and savings yet to move out and live on his own. By "clump" living we have been able to help each other out and all of us get what we need to be secure. My dad refuses to join this "clump living arrangement" so that all of us will have everything we need for security purposes. He wants me to sell my house, desert my family here no matter what happens to them when I move. Now, me living with him would sure mean an improvement for me financially because he is planning on paying all the house hold bills himself for us, but I'm having trouble with leaving everyone else concerned in dire financial chaos and inconvenience. The pros of his moving here are way more than the cons. Ambulance arrival there is forty-five mins to an hour, he gets around tediously and slow, no family close by to help, at high risk for falling and injury at home, etc. I have health issues that make the ambulance arrival time a catastrophy also. If I move, I can help only one....if he comes here, I can continue to help everyone. His reasons for not wanting to come here are totally silly (he doesn't like my bathtub, does not like using a shower as opposed baths, my yard is too small and my house is in a sub-division as opposed to county etc) and I feel he is being very stubborn and grasping at straws, totally ignoring the pros of it all. Help! He's making it impossible to help him. How do I get him to understand that it is in his best interest? That it is unfair of him to expect this since he is the one who needs the help? Refusing him is not an option because I am quite concerned about his safety. Its me, or him moving and so far it looks like it is ME.

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