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I know my father has dementia which has included false memories/delusions and I think it's progressing.
Unfortunately, like most of them I guess, he doesn't think that it could possibly be his mind faltering.
It would be so much easier to care for him if he realized it's possbile his mind is playing tricks otherwise I fear it won't be too much longer before it's nursing home time and I'm sure I'll get negative comments for this but I'm not able to work in the workforce because of spinal problems that have me disabled. We've been helping each other out since he needs help (legally blind and almost deaf) while I've been trying to get my disability and/or find some source of income I could do from home.
If he ends up having to go to a nursing home before I can, I'll probably end up homeless since I'm sure that even nursing home costs even through the VA would take most of his money.

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Has he been evaluated by a doctor to see if this is dementia, an infection, or a drug interaction?

Do you have a case worker? It sounds like you need to have a talk with him/ her about your housing situation.
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I came across this article on Aging Care that might be helpful. https://www.agingcare.com/articles/What-is-Reality-for-Dementia-Patients-133766.htm
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He was diagnosed with 'slight' dementia a couple of years ago by his VA primary care doctor in St Augustine. We just got him registered in the VA up here in Virginia and they're supposed to schedule more tests with a neuro-something to see how far it's progressed. Hopefully they'll put him on some meds that will help alleviate the symptoms somewhat. The VA moves too slow for me though. I can handle most everything except the false memories/delusions.
The other night I thought I might have actually gotten through to him because I tol him that if can't acknowledge that it's possible it might be that his dreams are getting moved to his memory when he wakes and keeps wanting to bother the police and FBI that they'll end up taking him away and putting him in a nursing home which I'm trying to not let happen. I asked him 'did you expect to live your whole life and your memory to stay the same as it was when you were 20 or 40? He said no. I said you were already diagnosed with slight dementia and they're supposed to test to see how far it's progressed and he said Why didn't anyone tell me? I said why would I try to keep you from mom (he thinks she's till alive and living in another state) or keep you from money you think you have in some account (he thinks he has a Chase account with deposits being put in from a "world lotto" he won)? It would only benefit you if it were true.
He didn't really say anything the rest of the night and didn't bring it up the next day but today he tells me he wishes the FBI would hurry up and get here (he thinks they are going to take him to mom) so apparently he still can't accept it might be his memories are screwed up.
I know the usually don't go away but I was hoping he could at least consider it was possible.
I don't know how much longer he's got before a nursing home is the only option.
I'm beginning to think it's going too be too soon and I'll end up homeless.
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I certainly feel your pain. My 87yo mom is in a similar situation. She has a worsening dementia condition. Unfortunately, there is no realistic logic left in their brains. The disease has taken over that reasonable father you remember. The best tip I can give and I've only recently gotten it to work at all, is to try and talk to them at a 2-3 year old level. I am not suggesting talking down to them, rather, using the same type of logic that a 2 year old understands. Naturally, trying to convince them of something we know but they can't grasp anymore is a hugely exasperating situation. Take one piece of the dream and see if you can convince them that it was scary, you understand how that feels. Let's talk about it so it will go away. Things like that. A good deal of the time with my Mom, I have to walk away as she tries to pick fights. Those never end well for anyone. With his FBI thoughts about your Mom....he may be expressing his need to go to your Mom. He in some place of his mind, knows his wife is gone to another place. He's using what logic is left to tell you he is ready to go to her. Soothe him with I know you want to see Mom. You will see her again at the right time. Not sure it will work, but worth a try. He might be less agitated if you tell him they will come, when it's time. I hope this helps you. God bless you!
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I really think there is some logic left. Not all but some. He's not talking jibberish it just seems the logic has regressed to maybe early teen years.
I really think these vivid dreams he has are transferring over to memory so he thinks they're real. I've read that that sometimes happens with dementia.
And he doesn't just think my mom's in Alabama, he thinks she's living there with another guy. And I'm sure the FBI aspect of it came when we moved up here to Virginia just outside of Quantico.
He's only brought up that one once since that day so I guess our conversation is sticking in his mind because he doesn't want to end up in a home.
I'm just hoping I have enough time before he has to go to one or something else takes him before he's a babbling idiot. I'd hate for my last memories of him to be in THAT of mental capacity.
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It is difficult for LO and others to accept the mind is damaqed by Alzheimer's Disease.
develop boundless patience. Forget about rational responses. Conversing with a LO who has Alzheimers is often like talking with your cat.

understand the individual has Alzheimer's Disease, be aware of the danger, and treat the person with patience. Remember , Confabulation is common. A person will say things to people containing information that is blatantly false, tell of actions that inaccurately describe history, background and present situations. Adding to possible danger is the answers are coherent, internally consistent, and appear relatively normal.

caregivers learn to speak dementia as a second language

"A Common Sense Guide to Alzheimer's Care "Kisses for Elizabeth: is written for both family and professional caregivers of people with Alzheimer's disease and other dementias. It is a practical resource for anyone experiencing difficulty with significant behavioral issues but is also helpful to caregivers who simply want to provide the best possible care.
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I don't know what the VA has available now, but a relative of mine with ALZ some years ago was in a VA facility in Seattle and got very good care. They even found him a small room that became his "office' so that he could "go to work" and he appeared to be content there.
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I know ALZ is the most common but he hasn't been diagnosed with any particular kind yet so it might be one of the other kinds of dementia. I'll see when they do more tests and see how far it's gone.
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