Over many conversations with siblings (who all live far out of state and visit only every 3-5 years) it is apparent they are all in a state of Denial.
My parents are 90-plus years old. They are NOT getting any younger.
Some day they WILL fall and not be able to get up....they WILL break a bone, they will certainly feel extremely lonely, they will become confused....all of that and more.
To me this is just NORMAL. There is no cure for old age---it' s the way it has always been, for eons--if you live to be 90 or 100, and if haven't kept yourself active & in good muscle tone, there's nothing anybody can do (without a ton of money) to make these frail old lives much better.
But my siblings tell me all the time, do this, do that, take mom & dad here, TRY this, if it didn't work--TRY AGAIN.
There is no money for parents to be hiring expensive therapists to DO their exercises for them. There is no money to hire a Personal Chef to improve their diets. There is no money for 24/7/365 caregivers.
Their only helper is UNPAID and that is me, and I am On-Call 24/7/365, while still living my own life. I enjoy to a certain extent that I can help my parents, but I am very realistic that there is not much "life" left for them.
They are basically going eat, sleep, watch TV and wet their Depends, every day wither away a little bit more, and NOBODY can change that prognosis.
So why do my siblings expect me all by myself to work miracles?