How do I convince my parents that they need to relocate to be closer to family members if only for medical care?

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My parents are in their 80's with poor health. Dad is blind. Mom just survived lung cancer. She has degenerative discs in neck and back so she has constant pain which she relies too heavily on pain meds.,! She sometimes drives under too much influence. They are at least 2 hours away from us kids.

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Good luck here Takayama! My folks refused to move until a medical emergency occured.
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I have a similar situation- dad is 93 and on board with moving to CT (from the city- 1.5 hours away). Mom has the dementia and refuses to leave the city. Keeps saying "we'll talk about it", forgetting how sick dad was a few months ago. I tried the guilt and it backfired- I said I was so tired driving back and forth to help out etc. Her response: Then come once a year! So can't try that. I tried the "I miss you" and "you can see me every day" bit which she falls for but then the next sentance "im not leaving the city". Tough Greek cookie. But I've been told to just rip the bandaid off and do it and she will deal. I thought of another "excuse/lie" which she might fall for- Dad needs to be observed for testing by some doctors at Yale so he needs to be nearby in CT so he can get better". She doesn't have to know and never will, and will forget anyway. Has anyone tried that sort of excuse to get a difficult dementia patient to move? I need some tactic that's going to work and guilt isn't working with her so maybe another avenue like this would.... She doesn't seem to question his doctors (she won't go to a doctor for her knee but goes with him to his dr appts). Any suggestions for this tough / stubborn dementia mom would help. I said yes to buying a condo in my complex (dad's on board) so the wheels should be in motion before too long.
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I convinced my parents by telling them the stress was too much for me to take care of them when they lived 200 miles away. But my family was in the military, so moving was something that they'd done a number of times in the past. So if your parents care about you children, you could frame it as a way they can help you - if they call on you when a crisis hits. Good luck and keep us posted!!
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Any to convince them to go into assited living near you? It sounds like they are prime candidates.
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You are not going to convince them, so call their county senior services and see if a social worker can look in on them and check their welfare.
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Also, is their home adequate for their current physical state? Sometimes you can get them to consider moving to be closer to doctors, hospitals, bus transportation, stores, restaurants, or to move to a smaller home with no stairs, more conveniences or services.

Have you had a discussion with your mom about driving under influence? She may not realize. My mom was doing that, and my aunt too. They got in a traffic accident and were automatically at fault. Aunt was driving. Both are passed now, but aunt had to do community time, lost her license. No one was injured, but the cop persisted.
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Convincing them of anything they don't want to hear/acknowledge is so hard. I would try a sneak attack - "We want to move you closer to us so we can spend more time with you" type of thing. Anything other than, "we need you near us to take care of you" - they probably don't want to admit they need help or face that they are not the same independent people they were years ago.

Good luck, it can be tough trying to get our parents to do what is best for them sometimes!
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