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Mom is 88, in stage 5/6 dementia, started hallucinations, paranoia, accusations, anger, frustration, burning food, extreme driving difficulty, etc. Years back we discussed this time & she agreed with an assisted living home. Love my Mom but she's 1 tough cookie. She now refuses assistance. My son with a big heart, single with a 5 yr old son, wants to care for her full time & run a struggling computer business at home. How or should I convince him a memory care/assisted living home is best for Grandma & him?

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hhill4u, have you son read these forums for awhile because I don't think he really knows what is involved. Bet it would be an eye opener for him. Or have him care for his grandmother for 2 weeks on a trial run. There would be days where he would need to choose between his 5 year old child and his grandmother when BOTH need his immediate attention.
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It is kind of your son to want to help; HOWEVER, his first responsibility is to that little boy. Big time conflicts trying to be a successful parent of a growing child while at the same time taking care of grandma who will require more time and attention than he can imagine at this point. They will all be homebound in the near future.

Disable that car immediately. There just comes a time that no matter how our elders react we have to be the adult, make tough decisions and see that they are cared for properly. That does not mean giving up you life, home, health and happiness. That little guy has a lot of years ahead of him and deserves his Dad's full attention!

Start now getting her placed where she will be comfortable and receive the care she needs now and in the future. Best wishes.
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Tell your son his first responsibility is his five year old and that in itself is a full time job. Take mom on tours of ALF's nearby. And good god stop the driving before she takes out a school bus.
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