My mother adopted one of the foster kids she kept when she was 71. Now at 84 they have many problems. She wants to put him in a group home. My husband and I want him to live with us. Sibling rivalry and anger is happening. Mother nags this kid 24-7. She has always maintained grudges for years, and will go on about something for months on end. She doesn't want me to get involved due to spite. What should I do?