How do I convince my mother that her bank accounts do not become part of her estate upon her death?

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My mother has put my brother's name as a joint owner on ALL her bank accounts, CD's, and safety box. She Still believes this money will pass under her Will. I've told her if you don't believe me contact your lawyer. She just gets mad and suspect that I am too concerned about her money. PROBLEM is he is the POA for everything cause he wants the control. So she lives in a shabby old mobile home alone (like a hermit) following a hip fracture, can't drive, etc. He won't make needed repairs and tells her she don't have enough money for AL which is not true. He pulled her out of a perfectly acceptable affordable retirement home within close distance to me so that I could see about her care at which I was placed her after the hip fracture. I was furious. He also stated that he disowned me. I get the sense that he has set himself up to inherit all her money when she dies and doesn't want her to spend a penny. I've told her to start spending down and enjoy her life (she's 81) cause at the end of the day Medicaid is going to get it. Caring for her during hip fracture caused me so much anxiety my therapist told me to step back so I have but it's hard to watch my mother molt away. He won't accept legal advice (I paid for consult with a elder lawyer). He has estranged himself from me. He and his bloody sneaky wife have complete control and they will d*mn well fight for it. All for the money???

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Yes Barb I have considered that.
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Thank you staceyb. Perhaps it is all legitimate. But my brother is hyper protective of mother's money. They would never allow me access to this type of information. Meanwhile they (brother and sister-in-law) have known she is sick - giving her OTC cough and congestion tablets then going on their merry way. I took her to urgent care for fear she had pneumonia. Sure enough chest x-ray proved she does. Now they won't take her to PCP (that they picked for their convenience and is out in the boonies from where I live) for follow up.

I just don't get it. They were standing there when surgeon told us elderly hip fracture patients have 50/50 chance of surviving one year due to risk of pneumonia. Are they complete idiots or just in denial?
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I'm not sure, but just because his name is on her accounts, does not mean that he is Joint Owner, and unless your Mom specified, that any monies in these accounts is POD (PAY ON DEATH), those monies should go through probate, and be distributed, just as her will stipulates.

In our case, my husband Is both Medical and Financial POA for his Dad, and Is on all his investments and bank accounts, and is POD, as his 2 siblings are deadbeats, who have financially exploited him and their Mother out od many thousands, over  many many years.

It was his Dad decision to do it this way, so that those monies would be alienated from the rest of his assets and and belongings of any value, and this way, my husband can follow to the letter, how his Dad wishes to distribute any remaining assists he has, after he passes, not that there will be much left. But there will be no recourse, if the deadbeats do decide to contest the will after he's gone.

Maybe, if you take your Mom to the bank, she will show you how she has set things up, to alleviate you of any worry  that bad brother and wife are taking advantage of her, and your possible inheritance, should she wish to leave you anything in her will. I do understand, that when there's smoke, there's fire, and that you should be keeping an eye on things that way.

It's incredible how the sharks smell blood, when there's money involved!
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Have you considered contacting Adult Protective Sevices for advice?
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Recently after my Dad had passed, the Probate Court wanted information on my Dad's bank accounts even though it was joint with my name [my name so I could sign checks for him, none of my money co-mingled]. Maybe it depends on State laws what asset information is needed.

Your Mom needs to be careful how she spends down her money in regard to Medicaid. The spend down has to be for things that help her with every day life. Any money your brother takes from the accounts for his own use would be considered a "gift", thus that amount would be deducted from her care.

Sadly your brother is in denial about how Power of Attorney's, and joint accounts work, same with Medicaid. People hear things from other friends and believe it even if the information is misguided.
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