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After 7 months they could not move her to long term, so we could not get Medicaid for assisted due to SS income. three months in my home and I am exhausted and not healthy myself.

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To qualify for Medicaid, a person must meet financial guidelines and also have medical need. Are you saying that Mom qualifies financially but not medically?

Does she have trouble with activities of daily living? Does she wander? Does she forget things like leaving the stove on or the tub water running? "Dementia" covers a range of symptoms and not everyone with dementia would qualify immediately for Medicaid. But if caring for her is exhausting you, I suspect there is a lot going on that perhaps the doctors are not aware of.

I suggest that you contact the social services department in your county. Ask for a needs assessment. They will give you their opinion of the kinds of assistance your Mom needs and give you suggestions for how she would qualify for such assistance.

Also, even if Mom does not qualify for Medicaid or other assistance doesn't mean you have to care for her in your home. Not that you don't love her, but that it is taking a toll on your health. Start with social services. Be sure you are there for the interview. (My Mom kept telling the needs assessment worker "oh I don't need help with laundry" but her daughters disagreed, and they were there to say so.) If that is not sufficiently helpful, come back and we can discuss more drastic action.
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Sorry this was a response to Hannah13 not this post. too many open tabs and no delete.... :( Technology won this round!
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Being a caregiver is the only experience in life that you will find yourself battling on multiple fronts. Finances, family, .... and yourself! Please follow your mother's lead. She is making a very very difficult but the right decision. Also listen to what others have posted. No one is suggesting you leave your grandmother home alone. But you need to move on. She would be heart broken to know you and your mother are suffering. Best of luck
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SS income makes no difference----the long term care facility will take the SS payment every month & leave her with $50 or something like that for her petty cash account. If she has other assets,that's a different story. Something doesn't sound right---if she was in a facility for 7 months, why couldn't they transfer her to long term care?
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Confused -- are you saying she was in a nursing home for seven months and they couldn't find a long-term bed for her or something? They can't legally "evict" a patient if no one can care of them at home [and having your own health issues would qualify]. Again, as suggested, if she has to go to a hospital make it clear you can't care for her. It is easier to get someone in a nursing home from a hospital. The nursing home will help with the paper work to get her on her medicaid, but they will take her income and assets.
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In PA they now have new guidelines they have to go by in order to be placed in long term.(due to someone somewhere that did nursing home fraud), so now unless they are super really bad they won't get into long term even though the family member/caregiver is exhausted, etc. try getting into assisted living place, it might work better and if there is no money to be left to family members, so be it..........our parents worked hard for their money, it should be used for them
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Next time she is in the hospital, you refuse to take her back. No one can force you to take a patient. Go to alz.org for more information.
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Does your mom needs assistance in performing activities of daily living? Or does she have any chronic illness or cognitive impairment? Being a long-term care dependent doesn't automatically qualifies you for medicaid, there are certain eligibility requirement that you must meed in order to qualify for medicaid, and these ruling varies per state.
You might also want to ask for a second opinion from another doctor to determine if she requires long-term care services.
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