My husband,,sister and myself are the only people helping to care for my 87 year old mother. I am living with her but I work a full time job Monday through Friday 9 to 5. Between my sister and my husband they take care of her while I am at work. I cannot leave her by herself because she will get into things and could bring danger to herself. One time I came home from work and decided to take a nap in my bedroom, since she was napping. I was awoken by a slamming door. It was our front door. She had gone out to get the mail. I ran down stairs to find that she did not have her oxygen on (must have it 24/7) only to find she was standing on the front porch steps saying the cat cat got out somehow. That was a fiasco. The cat was injured while he was out and required surgery which cost $700. We have 4 cats that stay indoors. She constantly takes her oxygen off and she's a danger in the kitchen. Once my husband came in when he had arrived late one morning and found that she was putting a half a stick of butter on a piece of bread into the toaster oven. That could have been a fire! She does this kind of thing when we least expect it..during times of the day she is normally asleep. It's almost like she was waits for the moment she thinks no one is around to do it. Just in the nic of time I have the opportunity to bring in additional help from my son's girlfriends Mother. She is a CMA but not working at the moment. My husband has had back surgery recently and is very limited on what he can do for my mother. She has a slew of doctor appointments that she has to go on requiring someone to lift the wheelchair out of a car push the wheelchair and also handle her oxygen equipment. He cannot lift any of this right now. Also I will have a couple of months where he will not be available at all to help. My sister does not drive so she relies on people to drive her and she lives a half an hour away. I have exhausted my vacation time from work. One day this week, my mom has a doctors appointment that will require her to be driven downtown to the hospital were her doctors office is. It's basically going to be a few hour trip. The CMA was willing to go along on the doctors appointment to assist during this appointment. I thought this would be a perfect time for her to get used to my mom and the routines. She can do the lifting and the pushing and my husband can do the driving. mother is arguing with me saying she just wants only my husband to take her to the doctors visit. . She likes the lady very much but she is stubborn and says that she'll get her own help and she'll do it herself and she will go to the doctors herself. She can just get up and walk into the kitchen to get a glass of iced tea. I just don't know what to do. She's not quite 100% incompetent but she's not capable of doing the things she used to do. I handle all of her bills and all of her doctor appointments these kinds of things she can no longer do for herself. She is ungrateful and unappreciative of things we do for her. I could go on and on with the things we have done... She is just impossible and irrational with her reactions.