My mother is 78 and has been taking care of her 81 year old brother for 5 years. His care is physically demanding because sometimes he won't move when he has to be moved, and other times he is agitated and has to be physically restrained for a couple minutes while he settles down. The work is aging my mother beyond her years.
She has had home care help most of the time, although reluctantly. The last one quit and now she is determined to take care of him herself without any home care. I've been pressing the issue (to get home care) and now she screams at me when I bring up the subject.
I went to a counselor who advised me to stay away until she agrees to home care. This hard because nobody checks on them if I don't.
What can I do before something bad happens?