This is how it worked with my husband. I doubt it would work with someone who doesn't understand they need caregiving. My husband accepted that he had Lewy Body dementia.
"You know I am doing everything I can to keep you at home with me. You have to do your part, too. I need to be able to count on some times during the week when you are safe and don't need me. I can use that time to make my own medical appointments and go into the office and see friends. The Day Health Program is available to us at no cost. We really need to make this work!" He grumbled many days, and he played hooky occasionally, but mostly it worked out. When he insisted "I don't need a babysitter! I can stay home alone," I'd say, "I know you can take care of yourself most of the time. You've been doing it for many, many years. But we never know when ol' Lewy will mess with you. And he is especially likely to intrude if something is going wrong. I love you too much to take the chance."
I am NOT opposed to trickery or creative story-telling to achieve a worthy outcome with people who have dementia. But when it is possible, the simple truth can be effective.
na na na NA weve got cabin fever , im bout to lose my mind . we both need space , both need to rewind . you asked for day care , ive enrolled you in it . get yer ass in the car and cooperate, or we'll take ya to the one we saw on 60 minutes ...
First of all, don't call it "Adult Daycare." Call it "The Senior Center." Has she been there before? If not, go with her the first time and bring fancy-schmancy donuts or bagels and flavored cream cheese for everybody.
Was your mom a fashionista in her younger days? Buy her a few red hat accessories: My Mom has a few fancy hats..the smaller ones...loves them!) The aids will fuss over her when she comes in -- she'll like that. ;)
Be nonchalant about it. Don't talk about it much. The night before: "Oh, we have to get up a little early tomorrow so you can go to the Senior Center." When she gets home? Ask what she did....make a fuss...and cross your fingers. ;) ;)
Mom loves it. She's 87, congestive heart failure, dementia and mild Parkinson's. Good luck!!!!
Will your Mom be going for the first time or has she been there many times before and now doesn't want to go?
If it is for the first time, check with the adult day care center and ask if there is anything that they need for an elder to do, and pretend it is *volunteer* work. I heard that saying to Mom or Dad that he/she will be doing volunteer work tend to make one want to go :)
"You know I am doing everything I can to keep you at home with me. You have to do your part, too. I need to be able to count on some times during the week when you are safe and don't need me. I can use that time to make my own medical appointments and go into the office and see friends. The Day Health Program is available to us at no cost. We really need to make this work!" He grumbled many days, and he played hooky occasionally, but mostly it worked out. When he insisted "I don't need a babysitter! I can stay home alone," I'd say, "I know you can take care of yourself most of the time. You've been doing it for many, many years. But we never know when ol' Lewy will mess with you. And he is especially likely to intrude if something is going wrong. I love you too much to take the chance."
I am NOT opposed to trickery or creative story-telling to achieve a worthy outcome with people who have dementia. But when it is possible, the simple truth can be effective.
na na na NA
weve got cabin fever , im bout to lose my mind .
we both need space , both need to rewind .
you asked for day care , ive enrolled you in it .
get yer ass in the car and cooperate,
or we'll take ya to the one we saw on 60 minutes ...
Was your mom a fashionista in her younger days? Buy her a few red hat accessories: My Mom has a few fancy hats..the smaller ones...loves them!) The aids will fuss over her when she comes in -- she'll like that. ;)
Be nonchalant about it. Don't talk about it much. The night before: "Oh, we have to get up a little early tomorrow so you can go to the Senior Center." When she gets home? Ask what she did....make a fuss...and cross your fingers. ;) ;)
Mom loves it. She's 87, congestive heart failure, dementia and mild Parkinson's. Good luck!!!!
If it is for the first time, check with the adult day care center and ask if there is anything that they need for an elder to do, and pretend it is *volunteer* work. I heard that saying to Mom or Dad that he/she will be doing volunteer work tend to make one want to go :)