My mother who is 89 years old and has dementia, COPD, and bursitis refuses vehemently to be placed in an AL. A family member lives with us and has taken her side. Further, he screams and accuses me of being a horrible person who is selfish and crazy for not continuing to care for my mother whose quality of life here at home is nil. I really think not only would she receive 3 meals a day but would get professional care as well as peers she could talk to on a daily basis. Who really is the selfish one here? I have been sole caregiver and slave for 10 years now and feel that she needs a change and so do I. I am 63 and have only few years left to try to save for a small retirement for myself. Who will be there for me when I am too sick to care for myself? I am tired of being ganged up on and accused of being a terrible person for all of the years of my life I have more than paid back caring for my mother. I don't want to leave and have social services come in but I may have to fight for my sanity.