My mother has owned and lived in her home for 70 years. My father died at a young age, leaving her with four young children. She worked hard to raise us and maintain the home. My youngest sister, (57yr), was born with an intellectual disability. She functions at a high level, worked 25 years, drives, but, has never lived outside the family home. Three years ago, my mother was hospitalized with a septic infection that left her severely deconditioned. After 8 mos of rehab, she was able to return home with CNA's 6hrs a day for personal care, light housekeeping, and meal prep. My sister is the care giver the rest of the day. This worked well for a while. However, my mother has many health issues, CHD, severe arthritis, macular degeneration. My sister is morbidly obese, arthritic, diabetic, and has an undiagnosed digestive problem. My mother has been unable to stand alone, consequently she needs help during the night to use a commode. So, my sister will sometimes be called every two hours during the night! The situation has them both stressed and depressed. However, my mother cannot see that my sister needs help as much as she does! Currently, my mother is in rehab again, after a gall bladder attack left her dehydrated and deconditioned. The facility she is in is the same as before, she knows and likes the people there. However, all she wants is to go back home. My sister wants to move to an assisted living facility herself. However, my mother told her that if she moved, and my mother had to stay at the nursing home she would die! I have been supportive of the community waiver, (I am POA), but, at this point, I truly feel that the situation is untenable. I don't know how to get my mother to see this, or, at least see the terrible position she has forced my poor sister into! Any insights/ or suggestions?
I am so grateful for this sight!