He's single, lonely, love sick. F-I-L turns 90 today. Living alone, in the country. 3rd wife passed away 6 months ago. Met her through a dating service and wants to do the same all over again. That was a nightmare; no $$ left anymore. Does not want to move but needs companionship. I have POA but he does most everything with me double checking. Making poor choices, like dating service, makes mistakes in check book, sometimes. Forgetful---little things like, how to turn on phone, manage remote control, or how to run the washing machine. Not always however, random. Gets upset when there's no mail delivery, even on Sundays. Still drives locally. Has pets but they are allowed to mess in the house. Physically pretty good for 90. Very hard of hearing. Really want for him to move into assisted living with meals, housekeeping, and a possibility for a social life. Also feel that an allowance is the best idea so that no more financial mistakes are made and he can no longer order something from every piece of junk mail that arrives, including a new wife I suppose. Help.

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RainMom suggested what I was going to suggest as well. Contact local AL facilities and ask if they have calendars of activities available. Most do. Find out which ones might be open to visitors, ask staff if they'll help introduce him to others and make him welcome. He may get used to the activities.

In our area, Sunrise Assisted Living and Lockwood have in the past opened their activities and occasional meals to visitors. I believe FreqFlyer took advantage of the Sunrise meals to segue her father into moving there.

An alternative is a senior center, although in the country there either may not be a senior center close by, or in his particular community. There's always the issue of his "falling in love" again though.

Is he in enough of a country atmosphere that there are county fairs, various activities by farming groups, square dances, free concerts, etc.? Even if he doesn't dance or participate, it's a place to go to be with people.

Another alternative if he's a reader is a book club. In my area, libraries in the more well to do communities have book clubs; one even has a few different book clubs - mystery, romance, children, etc. And most of them also have free musical concerts in the summertime, as do some of the communities and some Methodist churches as well.

Concerts would be good because music is so relaxing yet inspiring.

Maybe he can segue into an AL facility activity life and meet so many women that he can't choose #4?!
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Wow - he sounds like a tiger if he's looking for wife no. 4 at 90 yrs old. If that really is a priority for him, a good selling point for IL or AL could be the ridiculously high ratio of women to men in these communities. I'm sure he'd be very popular with the ladies. But I do think you may have an uphill battle on your hands with him living as long as he has independently. Have you ever brought the idea up to him? If so, how did he react? Do you have some nice retirement communities near by where you could take him to lunch and he could see all the activities and social opportunities that would be available to him? I think if I were you I'd try presenting it as a positive in terms of being active and social and try to avoid any implications that he is starting to have some issues with cognitive decline. At the level you describe and considering his age he seems to be doing amazingly well - and I'll bet he knows it!
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So, what does your spouse have to say about all this?

Does one of you have Power of Attorney so that you can gently ease him out of the bill paying (or non paying) business?

He has no funds left; how is he going to pay for AL? Have you looked into Medicaid?
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