I live in Florida where we may get hit by "Isaac", a forecasted cat.1 hurricane. How can I get mom to leave her home and come to mine?

My mom refuses to leave her condo even in the event of this hurricane. I am not comfortable having her stay there alone during the storm but is there any way that I can actually make her come to my house? I would stay by her, but I have no doubt that her building will lose power as it has many times during a severe thunderstorm. I don't think it is wise for us to remain there with no a/c, lights, no tv and no refrigerator when my home is less likely to lose power. She is adamant and I believe that it will be unsafe for her/us to stay there. There are no other family members for her to stay with. Any suggestions would be welcome.

Answers 1 to 10 of 25
I would just tell her what may happen and if she stays she stays alone and if gets hurt no one may be able to get to her and will be alone as long as she realizes this she will have to make up her mind -no use arguing with her but tell her you will be telling the rest of the family that you did offer your home-they do like to argue and make up their own mind-when was the last time you won an argument with you -that might help you feel better about-there are always people who will not evacuate and then expect to be resuced when getting into trouble-and they are told to get out early or ride out the storm by themselves.
allalone......I take it Mom is still responsible for herself and is able to make her own decisions. There really is not much you can do short of take her prisoner and hold her hostage. Maybe you can approach the situation from you will need assistance during the storm with children, etc so you would really like her to stay with you. I know what I would do if it were my Mom........I would invite her over to my house with some excuse and that's where she would stay until the storm passed. Better she be mad at me for a while instead of stranded and in need of help or injured and no one able to access her. It's easier to ask for forgiveness than for permission.
Allalone, I just re-read one or your other posts, the one where you said your mother is accusing you of stealing etc? Your mother sounds like she does have dementia, so how is it that she can make a logical decision about staying in a place that may get hit with a hurricane? Also, if she is forgetting where she puts things or hiding them because she thinks they are going to be stolen, then forgets where her little hidey hole is, then it makes sense as to why she REFUSES to leave her home. She's afraid someone is going to come in there and steal her blind just as soon as she leaves. Your mother shouldn't be calling the shots at this point, in my opinion. Eventually you know, she's going to HAVE to move into a place that can help her with the progression of dementia, and all the stuff that goes along with it. But if she won't get out of the way NOW from a hurricane that's barreling down on her, you will have to dynamite her out of her home at some point when it comes to that! Like the Bible says, 'gird your loins', cause you're in for a battle. Bummer.
Top Answer
I would tell her that everyone is evacuating by order of the police and if she doesn't come along with you, she will end up in some shelter, taken there by someone she doesn't know. She will ride out the storm in the shelter with strangers who may "rob" her etc. and be stuck there until someone decides that it is safe for people to return to their homes. This is called "creative persuasion." LOL!
First, as a person living in a hurricane zone also, no one ever really knows where it will hit (until the last couple of days) and who and how one will be affected. You can get bypassed by the direct hit, but the peripherial winds, rain etc can affect you just as bad. Also depends on building structure. Some older better built condos did better than some brand new homes back when Andrew hit. But obviously you have assessed the situation and determined she is not going to be safe there alone. I don't personally face this issue b/c I live with the family member I care for, but I thought of the following:

1) Does the condo send out notices to residents advising them of what to do if a storm approaches, etc? Does the notice say anything that would support your argument to her that it is safer to leave?
2) What has she done in the past when power went out? If it was not a pleasant situation for her, can you remind her? Could you visit her before the storm hits (depending on where you are, this may be too late) , turn off her electricity breakers and tell her, mom, since the power is out, we need to leave now?
3) If your only fear is power outage (unless she lives on a high floor where you oculdn't get her out if elevator not working), maybe one of your family should stay with her and then help her leave after the storm hits if power did go out.
4) If all else fails, and you have no one to stay with her. Ask her neighbors what their plans are and if they can watch out for her, leave her with suffiicent food medicine and personal and emergency powerouttage supplies (and if you live in an H zone you know what they are)
5) if it is really bad, see if local law enforcement will pay her a visit and tell her she must go with you.
Hi allalone, I live slightly north of Palm Beach. We went through two hurricanes in 04, within two weeks of each other. I can tell you a Cat 2 is not going to destroy a well built home or condo. I went through hurrican Irene a Cat 1 years ago. It was nothing as far as wind, but the flooding was very bad in some areas. As of right now, we have not received enough rain to even worry about flooding. Are you in the Keys? I would be a bit concerned because they are so small and low lying. The tidal surge could flood many areas.

My biggest concern for you mother would be the terror these storms can create. When we got hit by hurricanes Francis and Jean, it was terrifying. The winds howled, I thought my windows were going to blow out since I had, at that time, no shutters. We do now. But all in all we did fine.

Afterwards, if power is gone, the heat is just unbelievable. Ugh! I think if your mother is in an area where she is likely to lose power and experience frightening winds, she would be much better with you. Just for her peace of mind. She needs family. Do your best to get her to stay with you.
Say Mom, We are going to go out to eat but you must spend the night with me. Then when she spends the night check the weather. if its bad dont travel back until police and weather says so!. I know its sneaky but it may save her life. God works in Myterious ways! You didn't lie !lol!
I live ocean front in a condo on Paln Beach. I am under the impression that Fl law reqires condos have an emergency generator to facilitate evacuation. O too live thru Frances, Jranne Irene, Wilma. It will take a lot more than a cat 2 to damage a concrete building upgraded with hurricane glass windows and a generator to drive sump pumps.
Allalone - well it's now Sunday 8/26 so this post may be too late but unless she is in the FL panhandle Issac as a Cat 2 is going to be a bother but not a real worry. It's probably going to make landfall well west of Florida Tues PM/Wed AM. Madge1 take on this is spot-on in about building safety & dealing the power outage and how that can be a real issue. Anything build post H. Andrew has 140 mph wind codes and can hold up to Cat 1-3. The rain bands will be constant for the next couple of days but most of the Florida lower west coast (from Destin down) will get maybe 2 - 3 of surge which isn't that high as you have seawalls & lots of rain. If she is west FL panhandle or lower AL or MS gulf coast and I bet there will probably be voluntary land evacuation & mandatory harbor evacuation for those zones starting early (Monday). So if you live in that area I'd get her as you won't be able to get to her easily for a couple of days. Looks like Issac is coming in as a Cat 2 with 5 - 12 ft surge starting with high tide on Tuesday with either Biloxi or Pass Christian or New Orleans East (Michoud) as landfall. If you feel the need to weather watch, weatherunderground, www.wunderground.com is a great site and very logical and consistent with out the media hysterics. We sail and so keep up with this.
Thank you so much for your posts. Both my mom and I live in Broward County and, thankfully, the storm has not been too bad so far and they say we are out of the worst of it. My mother wouldn't answer the phone to me, my son, my daughter nor her nephew. I don't know if she has power at this time but since it wasn't too bad I am thinking she probably does. That was really my main concern. I think her building is strong (it survived Wilma) but I was worried that she could fall if there were no lights and she had to have a flashlight in one hand while using her walker. There is no generator power in the Bldg. I am leaning towards calling the police non emergency number to make a well check on her since she won't answer the phone or let me in. I really appreciate the advice and i hope you guys in Palm Beach aren't experiencing too badly either.

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