He says he doesn't need all the things they offer, but yes, he does. We would feel safe and have companionship if he is in an environment with other people his age; but he is so stubborn he refuses to leave his very small studio apartment.
If you can afford to do it, why not tell him you are planning on having a room painted and the fumes will be too much for him. Get him in as a trial week. If he sees that all his fears are unfounded it might smooth the way
My Mom especially was in denial about her age and what she could still do around the house. My Dad had more common sense regarding his age, but if Mom didn't want to move, he dared not to go on his own.
I even brought to my parents lovely large brochures from one really nice place. Later I asked my parents what they thought. Mom said maybe in a couple of years..... say what?... HELLO they were in their mid-to-late 90's, guess Mom would be ready when she was 101.
Usually we need to wait until there is a crises before a parent would move to an elder safer environment. No free lunch would work on my Mom :P
Pam did have good ideas about pretending to look for someone else and to bring along the parent to get their opinion. Once my Mom passed, Dad was ready to move... and he enjoyed the free lunch :)
Pamstegma is so right. My husband's elderly aunt lived in an old farmhouse, unheated, full of junk & refused all of her children's efforts to have her move to somewhere safe. She is of her right mind.
Then one of her sons took her to an assisted living close by - for the free lunch. She walked in and saw the sunny entry, the beautiful facility, all of the people playing bridge, the activities board (trips to theater etc), the lunch. Then she asked to see a room and a short time later - moved in.
However, she still refuses to sell the house that is falling apart with 80 years of her junk and 80 years of her in-laws junk. Topic for another day.
Take him on tours of facilities, let him see the accommodations for himself. Lie to him if you have to, that you are looking for yourself or someone else. We did that and it worked. We told mom we just wanted the free lunch.
I even brought to my parents lovely large brochures from one really nice place. Later I asked my parents what they thought. Mom said maybe in a couple of years..... say what?... HELLO they were in their mid-to-late 90's, guess Mom would be ready when she was 101.
Usually we need to wait until there is a crises before a parent would move to an elder safer environment. No free lunch would work on my Mom :P
Pam did have good ideas about pretending to look for someone else and to bring along the parent to get their opinion. Once my Mom passed, Dad was ready to move... and he enjoyed the free lunch :)
Then one of her sons took her to an assisted living close by - for the free lunch. She walked in and saw the sunny entry, the beautiful facility, all of the people playing bridge, the activities board (trips to theater etc), the lunch. Then she asked to see a room and a short time later - moved in.
However, she still refuses to sell the house that is falling apart with 80 years of her junk and 80 years of her in-laws junk. Topic for another day.