What can I say to my Dad to convince him that his moving in with me is best?


My dad is lonely and depressed at home alone.

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The short answer is you can't. He won't be convinced; you will either need to move in or move him out against his wishes, when that time comes. Or it has to be his idea to start with.
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I wholeheartedly approve of trying to help Dad with his loneliness and his depression.

Moving is a pretty drastic solution to those problems. What less dramatic attempts have you made? Is there a senior center he could go to? A senior bowling league to join? A special discount during certain times of the day at a local golf course? Could he volunteer at a library? Get a part time job as a bagger at a lovely grocery store? There must be a lot of things he could do to be around other people than hang out with you all day.

But treating the depression should really come first. People who are depressed tend to isolate themselves. Depression is a real illness and there are real treatment plans for it. I can pretty confidently predict it will not be cured by a move, unless there is also a treatment plan in place. Convincing you dad to see a doctor might be a good use of your time.

Your profile says you are caring for someone with dementia. What is that situation, and how would it relate to Dad's move?
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Pam, I had to chuckle when you wrote "aggravation keeps them alive"... how true that is.

The simplest of things can keep my parents talking for hour on end between themselves. Like if something is out of place in the neighborhood, the stories my parents will come up with, like a truck in a neighbor's driveway.... maybe the neighbor is moving... wonder if the son is moving back home.... did the son lose his job.... maybe the son got divorced.... how will the neighbors see the grandkids.... etc. You get my drift :)
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Let me say, as an aging parent, you cannot convince him. A man's home is truly his castle. If you want to help him, hire a housekeeper to come in once a week, or a cook on MWF (leftovers on TuThuSat). Hire a grass cutter once a week. Take him out to dinner on Sundays.
Yes, he will complain about them, but he would complain even if it was you. Aggravation keeps them alive.
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