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He'll even keep reusing the Depends. He'll take off the wet underpants, put on clean underpants, and put same Depends back on. My mom is washing 9 pairs of underpants most days. Their washing machine is downstairs and going up and down the stairs is getting difficult for her at 85 years of age. It seems like the cost of Depends is his issue. They still live in their own house and don't know exactly what she says, but my mom tells me they have argued about it many times and she doesn't know what else to say. When he first started to wear Depends, it was because he couldn't get to toilet in time. Now he is losing (or has lost) the feeling that he needs to use the toilet. So far he is able to clean himself up.

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I agree. Get rid of the underwear.

I discovered my dad reusing Depends too. It was a cost thing for him. So whenever he wasn't looking I'd steal into his bathroom with a bag and bundle them up for the trash. Eventually he got the message.
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I agree with getting rid of his underwear. I had to do this with my MIL. She would wear the underwear, depends and even still wanted her girdle. It was not an easy task; but she got use to it after a while. I would tell her that she could get a urinary tract infection if she wore the underwear if it was wet and soiled. This actually helped with the transition as she did not want an infection again as she had previously had numerous infections.

Also, I would tell her that soooo many people are wearing them now. This seemed to comfort her knowing that it is very common. She had a good sense of humor; so when appropriate we would joke about her new, sexy underwear.

This made her laugh and think it also helped with the dignity issues which are so important. Wishing you luck and take care.
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I have this issue with my mom, not about Depends, but about trying to reuse paper plates. She's of the Depression era and so it's very wasteful to use something once and throw it away. I could only get her to use the paper plates by hiding her regular dishes. Then I would come over and find little stacks of paper bowls and saucers. I asked her why she was doing that and she was going to try to wipe off the paper products so she could use them again.

That same thought process may be going on with your dad. I love their frugality, but there are limits! So hide his tighty whities and tell mom to put her foot down about reusing the Depends. Good luck, it's not easy!
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Part of what put my father in law in the ground was his falls all the time, because even though he wore Depends (and it took a month to convince him that he needed to wear them instead of underwear), he would still try to get up continuously and go to the bathroom to go pee so he didn't soil his Depend. MIL would tell him he didn't need to get up because he had a Depend on, but he still would, and fell almost nightly. It's a dignity issue with folks that age, especially men, they HATE to wear the Depends or adult diapers. To them, it's still like wetting in their pants, point blank. I agree with the other posters who say to get rid of the underwear. It may take a while, but hopefully you can convince him he has to wear them. Also, Depends makes "shields" for men to place inside of underwear if he absolutely HAS to wear tighty whities...maybe that will save a few pairs. MIL wears the liners, and one evening a week, I will sit and place all of the liners in the Depends and put them inside her underwear drawer, just so I don't have to do it for every change. Also, not sure if you have siblings, but can they help out buying Depends? A pack of 19 Depends runs about $14, maybe each sibling can supply one a month? And also, look for them cheaper online, and a case of them (2 packs inside) runs about $3-$5 cheaper than buying them individually. Ask friends for coupons, too, hey...$1 is $1!!! Look on the Depends website, I think there are downloadable coupons on the website too.
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Yup, ditch the tightie whities, tell him they are all in the wash or they fell apart. He is going to wear her down to a stub pretty soon as he becomes more confused. Share his underwear obsession with his MD and be alert for other changes.
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This may sound harsh so please forgive me. Your mother outranks your father right now because she is the one cleaning and going up and down stairs at 85! Again this may sound harsh but I would get rid of his underwear,if they aren't there he can't put them on. And as for trying to reuse the depend, your mom is just going to have to keep an eye on him and get them away from him as soon as he gets them off and keep plenty of clean ones right next to the toilet.I am sorry about his dignity but at 85 your mother doesn't need one more thing on her back because she could fall on those stairs and then where would your father and you be?Has he been assessed for dementia? Hugs to you.
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