My dad passed away almost 2 years ago since then my mom has fell and now has a hard time walking. She wants me to always be home with her and she's becoming mean to me putting me down,gets mad if I go out. I need help
From your profile: About Me 46 years old, father passed away almost 2 years ago,I want to have a life
You didn't sign up to be your mother's surrogate husband when your father passed away 2 years ago. If you want to have a life, then have one. You don't say if you moved mom in with you, but it sounds like you did if 'she gets mad if you go out.' Why did you do that???????
Look into either Independent Living or Assisted Living for mom now and enable her to live her OWN life by giving her autonomy to do so. She'll get to interact with people her own age in a senior environment like that, and that will let YOU off the hook for being her entertainment committee. At 46, you don't want that job OR a snarky attitude from the woman to boot.
Nip this in the bud before the rest of your life is ruined.
Good luck taking the bull by the horns and fixing the mistakes that have been made.
Where I live this is a very useful tool to see how independent the elder is. The next pathways are either A. Age in place: an elder could sign up for home help services to provide assistance for certain tasks they require help with eg cleaning, shopping assist. Note: This requires the cognitive skills to run the 'help' staff. Or B: Move into a staffed environment.
Costs are of course a big factor... local home help costs/availablilty & affordability (if at all) of assisted living.
Scrub option D off the list: Daughter (or Son) becomes the Drudge, 24/7 companion, nurse, maid, chauffeur (unless you want to of course).
If you are living with your mom, not supporting yourself with an outside job, giving more and more help to your mom in exchange for living with her, you are on a slippery slope for someone who wants to have a life.
I am thinking you need to move out and mom needs to get some therapy to help her with her mobility issues. She is either getting better by now or she is being enabled to do less than she should if there is indeed recovery in her future.
If you are an independent person, living on your own, helping mom recover, then mom needs to back off.
Check out the book on Boundaries by Townsend. Moms nagging may be just the tonic you need to get you working on your own life. Good luck.
Has there been a consideration to place her in a facility where she might be safer? I think you have to be upfront and tell her you would help her find one and visit her but you have a life and it cannot be consumed with her constant needs and wishes.
Could her present expenses pay for this type of place if she no longer lived alone where it is obviously becoming unsafe?
About Me
46 years old, father passed away almost 2 years ago,I want to have a life
You didn't sign up to be your mother's surrogate husband when your father passed away 2 years ago. If you want to have a life, then have one. You don't say if you moved mom in with you, but it sounds like you did if 'she gets mad if you go out.' Why did you do that???????
Look into either Independent Living or Assisted Living for mom now and enable her to live her OWN life by giving her autonomy to do so. She'll get to interact with people her own age in a senior environment like that, and that will let YOU off the hook for being her entertainment committee. At 46, you don't want that job OR a snarky attitude from the woman to boot.
Nip this in the bud before the rest of your life is ruined.
Good luck taking the bull by the horns and fixing the mistakes that have been made.
Has there been a recent needs assessment done?
Where I live this is a very useful tool to see how independent the elder is. The next pathways are either A. Age in place: an elder could sign up for home help services to provide assistance for certain tasks they require help with eg cleaning, shopping assist. Note: This requires the cognitive skills to run the 'help' staff.
Or B: Move into a staffed environment.
Costs are of course a big factor... local home help costs/availablilty & affordability (if at all) of assisted living.
Scrub option D off the list: Daughter (or Son) becomes the Drudge, 24/7 companion, nurse, maid, chauffeur (unless you want to of course).
I am thinking you need to move out and mom needs to get some therapy to help her with her mobility issues.
She is either getting better by now or she is being enabled to do less than she should if there is indeed recovery in her future.
If you are an independent person, living on your own, helping mom recover, then mom needs to back off.
Check out the book on Boundaries by Townsend. Moms nagging may be just the tonic you need to get you working on your own life. Good luck.
Could her present expenses pay for this type of place if she no longer lived alone where it is obviously becoming unsafe?