How do we control my mother's (85) drinking?

I'd discuss it with her doctor. She may need detox. See what he advises. With her dementia, this could really put her in danger. I'd see if the experts recommend any alcohol or a limited amount. Would she drink nonalcoholic drinks if she didn't know the difference? If her dementia progresses, she may not realize what she's having.

Specialpops, may I ask who is providing your Mom with the alcohol?

I read that stopping cold turkey might be harmful thus your Mom would need to be under a doctor's care, possibly a rehab to help monitor her condition.

She drives and buys her own liquor or she will talk a nephew or friend into buying it for her. When she buys it, she gets a case at the time. She is defiant and denies any wrong doing when we speak to the Dr. (The Dr.s won't speak to us alone but only in front of her. Then she throws a big ole fit that she doesn't drink too much and she doesn't forget.) She would know the difference if we watered down her liquor as the only reason she is drinking is to get drunk (numbs her). She still drives her car, lives alone, and takes care of most of her business although my brother has taken over paying most of the bills as she forgets. She will scream at you and cuss you for even hinting that she forgets! Keep in mind that until a couple of years ago she did not cuss or drink. In fact, she taught Sunday School! Her personality has started to change to someone we really don't know.

Stopping cold turkey is very dangerous. Unlike any other substance, alcohol detox without a protocal can kill due to seizures.

The problem is...she is an alcoholic...she will not stop. Its also possible that instead of having traditional dementia, that she has alcohol induced dementia. You should attend some Al-anon meetings. They will teach you to detach, as you cannot control or change someone that drinks (of any age). The best you can do is wait until she has fallen, call 911 and have her taken to the hospital. You caould also have her Baker Acted which would require a 72 hour psych hold and will start the detox process. After 72 hours, she can check herself out though. She has to choose to do a full detox...and likely she will not.

Please detach. Don't enable her. Don't help her to get alcohol or to keep drinking. This is the only way she will reach rock bottom and ask for help.

Angel