Firstly I love this site and appreciate not feeling alone. My 86 year old mother has lived with my husband and I for almost 3 years after she came out of the hospital and told us she could no longer live alone. Mostly everything is done for her since she has COPD and mobility problems also slight dementia. For many years she seemed to have slight Paranoia tendencies but the past year it has become more frequent. The hardest for me is listening to her blame us when she either, has a pain, stomach upset, not sleeping etc., any malady is due to something we have given her mostly in her food (she usually blames my husband even though he has nothing to do with her food preparation). I can't discuss anything with her doctor because she thinks the medical personnel are against her or anyone else I have contact with. I can't have someone else watch her here because I don't want to hear about it later. We have no family members close by but my daughter comes out from the east coast once a year so that my husband and I can go away for a few days. I was wondering whether anyone has any suggestions that would help me to not become so defensive towards her when she brings up these accusations; she is and always has been right and really believes what she thinks.