Dang, sorry for posting so much lately--when it rains, it pours.
I have posted before about hubby's depression/hearing loss--whatever. I am at a total crossroads about what to do.
He IS having his hearing checked tomorrow and an ENT workup, only because I am forcing him. He has already stated he will not be compliant as he KNOWS there is nothing they can do for him. He will not allow me to accompany him to this visit, even though I have promised to be completely silent. I just need to hear it for myself that he is untreatable and will be deaf for the rest of his life.
A huge factor that plays into the hearing loss is that he is supremely depressed. His antidepressants do not work at all, he has no energy, no desire to do ANYTHING. He can manage to barely work FT, but other than that, he sleeps. Slept 72 hrs straight Fri-Mon. Worked half a day yesterday. Is sleeping all day today. This is absolutely normal for him. He has no outside interests, no interest in me, our marriage, the kids....just wants to sleep.
I do not know what he has told his psychiatrist (who also does his counseling) He was doing better when he saw her bi-weekly, but decided about 8 months ago he was "cured" and wouldn't go back. He had to, once, to get his meds refilled, and he didn't opt for more visits, said he doesn't have time.
Do I have the right or obligation to try to talk or write to this dr and tell her of the actal truth? I am not even sure he's told her he's married! I know he brought home some things to read and some "workbook" pages, but he didn't do anything with them.
Can I write to this doc? Is that a violation of some kind of law? I'm ready to throw in the towel on this marriage, it's a joke. I'm not his wife, I'm his caregiver. We don't talk, he shuts me down and out. I KNOW it's depression---and the meds he's on simply do not work.
No matter what I do, he's going to be angry. Anger is his go-to emotion. Partly b/c he shuts me down with it and also b/c he knows if he's "mean" enough I give up.
This has been going on for 10 years. I am way past exhaustion, trying to hold a family together, paint a rosy picture of "happy" for the kids and try to create situations where he'll wake up and DO something.
Any advice??? (I am really having a bad couple of weeks here!)